


Blast To The Past

by enchantment



Series: Forever After Series [6]
Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M, Friendship, Gen, Humor, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-04
Updated: 2013-09-04
Packaged: 2017-12-25 15:37:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 25,284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/954819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/enchantment/pseuds/enchantment
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Donna and Jack are hired to work at Torchwood. Jack fell in love with Donna at first sight and asks the Doctor for help to win her affections. Will he win the girl or will their bungled attempts blow up in his face? **Sixth of the Forever After Series**</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Old Faces, New Friends

**Author's Note:**

> Author's Note: The Doctor's PMT (Post Metacrisis Tension) and the idea for MiDonnal are mentioned in Good Things Come To Those Who Wait. The Jack and Donna in this story are based on the original universe but being parallels, they will be different. This will be a multi chapter story, I have planned out seven chapters. I hope that you enjoy reading it as much as I have enjoyed writing it. :)
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own anything in relation to Dr. Who.

******Monday******

**BOOM!** The Doctor and Rose's gazes instantly seek each other out as an explosion from outside rocks the floor of their building. Shouts of 'The parking lot's on fire' and 'It must have been a bomb' ring throughout the office. The Doctor's expression becomes horror stricken as he realizes, "My car!" He grabs Rose's hand and they run full speed to the parking lot.

The parking lot is full of smoke and chaos and it's Rose who pulls the Doctor over to Jake, who is busy issuing orders to several Torchwood agents. Jake spies them before they reach him and before either of them can ask, he tells them, "We're not sure what happened yet. We think it was a bomb. Something went off under that Citreon over there."

The Doctor screams, "Oh no!" He runs halfway down the lot to his parking space where he finds his car…in perfect condition. He immediately falls to his knees and clasps his hands together in relief. "Oh, thank Rassilon! It wasn't my car!"

"No!" screeches a voice from behind that he'd thought he'd never hear again. "It was mine!"

The Doctor looks behind him to see Donna Noble, and behind her is his Rose, who seems just as bewildered as him. "Donna?" he whispers. Then he throws his arms around her waist and clutches her tightly. "Donna! How did you get here?"

"Oi! Get off me you pencil necked freak!" yells Donna as she pushes him away from her. "How do you think that I got here? In my car!" She stares forlornly at the smoldering wreckage of her car and grumbles, "Or what's left of it."

The Doctor is still on the ground trying to contemplate the sudden appearance of the woman before him. He murmurs "But how…?"

Rose comes up behind him and pulls him to his feet. She whispers in his ear, "Parallel world, Doctor. Remember?"

Pete and Jake are walking towards the group as they discuss the current situation. "What's the status, Jake?"

Jake replies, "It's all over but the screaming, Pete." He nods his head to indicate Donna. "Mostly from her."

Pete taps a despondent Donna on her shoulder and inquires, "Miss Noble?" Donna glances behind her shoulder and she instantly straightens up and becomes all business as she sees the Director of Torchwood, her new boss.

Donna introduces herself as she holds out her hand. "Director Tyler. I'm Donna Noble, but please call me Donna. It's a pleasure to meet you. I apologize for delaying our meeting but as you can see, I've been detained."

Pete smiles warmly and responds, "Please call me Pete. No apologies are necessary, Donna. From what I've gathered from your reputation, you're well worth the wait. I would like to apologize for the current condition of your car. Please don't worry, Torchwood will make full restitution for your vehicle."

Donna offers Pete a slight smile and states, "No worries, Pete. It's all par for the course in our line of work." A barely audible sigh escapes her lips as she casts a glance over at her car.

The Doctor steps forward and gives a little wave of his hand. "Excuse me, I'm the Doctor and this is my fiancée, Rose Tyler. I've been restoring my Citroen, excellent choice of car by the way, and I'd be more than happy to assist you in repairing your car."

She surveys the Doctor's car with a scrutinizing eye and questions, "That's your car?" He nods proudly. Her eyes widen as she spies the Doctor's license plate, **1PESACRP**. "Interesting license plate," she muses.

The Doctor flushes a bright red and hurriedly moves in front of the license plate to block her view. He tugs at his collar as he tells her, "We're changing it as soon as we can."

"I'll bet," says Donna with a smirk.

The Doctor pats the hood of his car and asserts, "It was the only drawback to the car. Otherwise, it was a steal."

"Are you sure that it wasn't a giveaway?" quips Donna. Rose is the only one to hear Donna's remark and she has to bite her lip to refrain from laughing. She knows that she likes this Donna right away.

"Well, Donna," interjects Pete, "why don't we go check out your new office?"

The Doctor tugs on Rose's hand and urges her to follow them as he's not quite yet ready to let Donna leave his sight. They make their way inside the building to the elevator and Rose is very intrigued to note that they head straight to the top floor.

Pete leads them to one of the newly remodeled executive suites at the end of the hall. The office they enter is wide and spacious and the blinds are drawn back to reveal a large window that runs the length of the wall, and a door that leads onto a balcony.

The Doctor looks around and whistles softly. "Wow, Donna! You've done well for yourself! Not bad for a temp, eh?"

Donna whirls around to face him. "Oi! What are you talking about Spaceman? Get your head out of orbit! I'm not a temp!"

The Doctor's confusion intensifies as he questions, "Then what are you doing here?"

Pete shoots the Doctor a warning look and explains, "Doctor, Rose…Donna is our new Director of Alien Artifacts."

"Director?" squawks the Doctor.

Donna slowly approaches the Doctor and enunciates each word as if she were speaking to a small child. "Yes. I am the new Director of Alien Technology. I understand that you're a frequent visitor to the department. In the future, if you want to requisition anything, you will have to go through me."

For once, the Doctor is struck dumb. Both Pete and Rose glance at each other in amusement. She may be Donna's parallel, but the Doctor having to answer to any version of a former companion? Priceless!

Pete clears his throat and indicates a huge stack of papers on Donna's desk. "Your secretary received the message that you left on his voicemail and pulled out all of the forms that you requested. I passed him in the parking lot right before the blast and asked him to take care of a few things for me. He should be returning shortly."

Pete cautiously side-steps the Doctor and begins to walk backwards to the door. "I'll leave you to sort things out with the Doctor and then I'll meet you and Rose by the elevator."

The Doctor and Rose watch Pete spin on his heel and rush out of the room. They turn their attention to Donna who is watching the Doctor with a predatory smile.

Donna takes him by the elbow and leads him over to her desk. "Doctor, these forms are for you to fill out. They cover all of the previous items that have been removed from Torchwood's archives without permission or notification."

The Doctor gapes at the sight of the paper stack, his mouth repeatedly opening and closing like a fish. Finally, he is able to gasp, "What?"

Donna replies, "I'll need every form filled out on both sides and in triplicate."

"What?" cries the Doctor.

"And please make sure that my secretary receives them all by the end of the day", she orders.

"What?" he asks in a petulant whine.

Donna offers him a saccharine smile as she breezes past him and walks over to Rose. "Shall we join Pete?"

Rose looks back over her shoulder to offer him a sympathetic smile and then leans toward Donna and whispers, "I think that I'm going to like working with you, Donna Noble."

Donna flashes a wide smile before linking arms with Rose and exiting the office, leaving the Doctor behind with his daunting task.

******Tick, Tock, Tick, Tock, Tick, Tock******

Tap. Tap. Tap. The Doctor taps the pen repeatedly on the desk before he continues to the next section. Tap. Tap. Tap. He gazes at the clock and finishes the last section.

As he places the paper into the 'finished' tray and reaches for the next one, he pulls his hand back with a growl and watches blood drip onto the desk. _Another bloody paper cut!_

Drip. Drip. Drip. _Blood. Anger. Revenge. All of them present but the last one. At least not yet,_ he thinks with a smirk.

 _Requisitions. Protocol. Bureaucracy. Somewhere out there, the Brigadier is laughing at me._ He sighs.

How could Donna do this to him? His Donna never would have done this to him and enjoyed it. Oh, well, maybe she would have but then they would have laughed about it and she would have helped him! Super Temp. The Doctor Donna. He missed her.

The office door suddenly swings open and the Doctor looks up hoping to see Rose ready to assist him. Instead, he sees _her_ carrying a styrofoam container. The Doctor's face instantly sports a grimace and he greets, "Oh. It's you."

"That's right," she returns with a smirk, "it's me. It is just my office after all. How are you coming along with that paperwork?"

The Doctor decides to take the high road and pushes his glasses up on his face as he studies the next form. He curtly answers, "Slowly."

Seconds pass before the Doctor promptly jumps out of his chair and with eyes flashing, he bellows, "I am much too important to be stuck with this paperwork, Donna Noble! I have saved civilizations and universes in the time that it has taken me to fill out this pile of forms! Our world might need saving and we'll never know it because of this seemingly ceaseless, never-ending pile of bureaucratic malarkey that is taking ages!" He slams his hands down on the desk at the end of his speech to emphasize his point.

Donna merely stares at him, places her hands on her hips and informs him, "It's only been ten minutes!"

The Doctor slinks back down into his chair, inch by inch, as Donna having lost all patience with him, finally explodes. "I can't believe that a scientist of your caliber is unable to summon up enough patience and determination to work his way through a stack of papers! Papers, mind you, that would not have needed to accumulate if you had simply documented their retrieval every time that you nicked something!"

She straightens up to look down at him and asks with a sneer, "What's with the attitude anyway? Suffering a bit of PMT, are we?"

The Doctor stares at her, blinks once and then answers, "Oh, right. Thanks for reminding me." He reaches into his suit pocket and pulls out a small vial and dumps two tablets into his hand. _Mmmm. I knew the MiDonnal would go down easier with a chocolate coating. Hmmm. This is keyed into Donna's DNA. I wonder if I could slip them into her coffee and tell her that we use mocha creamer._

The Doctor hasn't looked away once from Donna during his inner monologue, leading Donna to assess his manner and mental status and quickly arrive at only one conclusion. _Weirdo._

The Doctor comes back to himself and asks, "So, will you be staying long? I could really use some help."

Donna almost looks sympathetic as she says, "No, sorry. I just had to grab a few files before I head off to a lunch meeting. You better hurry up if you want to grab any lunch at the canteen. It's a zoo down there. I just managed to grab the last piece of banana cream pie."

She gives him one last glance over her shoulder and says, "See you later."

Eyes alight with The Oncoming Storm, the Doctor grits out, "Not if I see you first." Tap. Tap. Tap.

******Tick, Tock, Tick, Tock, Tick, Tock******

Once again, the office door opens but the Doctor is too exhausted to raise his head. A timid voice asks, "Excuse me? Doctor?"

The Doctor wearily looks up at the man behind the voice and sees…Jack Harkness! This truly is the day for shocks, he hopes that his one heart can take it.

"Jack?" he questions softly. "Do you know who I am?"

"Of course I do, Sir", replies Jack with a warm smile as he shifts an armful of files and his lunch bag into one arm so that he can shake the Doctor's hand. "Miss Noble left a message for me that you would be working in here today."

 _Oh,yeah. Of course. Parallels. Right_ , recalls the Doctor. He pushes his disappointment aside and musters a smile as he takes Jack's hand. "Pleased to meet you, Jack."

Jack notes that the Doctor's manic mood that Director Tyler warned him about is absent and in place is a sullen and defeated expression. He smiles kindly and offers, "Can I help you with that?"

The Doctor looks up with pleading eyes and begs, "Please! This task is insurmountable! I've lost all hope, all pride!" He clutches the hem of Jack's suit jacket as he steps closer and whimpers, "I will grovel at your knees if you will only help me!"

Jack sets his lunch and files on the desk and then gently pries the Doctor's hands off of him. He reaches for the finished stack of papers to judge his progress and replies, "Not a problem, Sir. I'll be glad to assist you. How long have you been working on these?"

The Doctor drops his head onto the desk and mumbles, "Forever." He raises his head with a glassy-eyed stare and states, "Rose promised me her forever. Instead, I got this."

Jack looks at him with concern before noticing the start time that the Doctor scrawled on the first form. He takes a quick glance at the clock and puts the papers back in the tray. "Sir, it's been twenty minutes."

A blank stare his only response, Jack declares, "Well, that's enough time for any man to go mad."

With hair sticking out in every direction and his wild-eyed stare meeting Jack's gaze, he exclaims, "Exactly! Finally! A man who sees reason!"

Jack walks around the desk and pulls up another chair to sit alongside the Doctor. His eyes are shining with gratitude as he clasps both of Jack's hands and utters, "Bless you."

Jack laughs softly and says, "No worries. I'll have this sorted out in no time. I'll just need a few details here and there and your signature on each page."

"Oh, I see," says the Doctor in a disheartened voice. "So I still need to be here then?" he asks in obvious disappointment.

"If you could please," answers Jack rather dryly with a pointed stare. "It really is the only way that we'll be able to accomplish everything."

The Doctor looks put out and huffs, "If I must." He looks pitying at Jack and inquires, "So have you met Donna yet?"

"Miss Noble?" replies Jack with a small sigh. "Yeah, I met her at orientation. We attended the same training sessions but I still haven't been able to make more than a passing acquaintance."

"Well, just be on your guard. When it comes to Donna Noble, she has more bite than a Plasmavore."

Jack's brow furrows at that reference and he remarks, "I don't know what that means but I agree with you about her bite. She had several confrontations with the instructors during the training sessions and there wasn't much after she was done with them." Jack shudders at the memory. "She was magnificent!"

"Excuse me?" asks the Doctor as he is sure that he must have misheard him.

Jack shuffles through the paperwork and states matter-of-factly, "She's the most amazing woman that I've ever met. Frankly Doctor, I fell in love with her at first sight."

"What?" sputters the Doctor. "How is that even possible? You're so, so, so…," the Doctor waves his hands around trying to indicate Jack's calming nature and gentle mannerisms, "and Donna's so, so, so…," shaking his fists angrily in the air.

"I know," replies Jack dreamily. "Her forceful nature reveals her fire, spirit and passion." He continues to separate the paperwork into shorter and more manageable stacks. "She's incredible."

The Doctor watches Jack in stunned silence. _Unbelievable. He's so different from the Jack in our old universe._

"Plus," Jack confides with a slight blush, "I kind of like the way she scares me."

 _Okay,_ concludes the Doctor. _Maybe not so different after all._

The Doctor finally notices the brown bag sitting on top of the files and realizes that he's causing Jack to miss his lunch as well. "Sorry to interrupt your lunch, Jack. I really do appreciate all of your help."

Jack assures him, "It's honestly not a problem, we'll be done here in about an hour." He frowns in concern and questions, "Have you had anything to eat yet?"

When the Doctor shakes his head in the negative, Jack grabs his bag and opens it. "Here, we can share it. I hope that you like banana cream pie."

The Doctor beams as he takes the pie off of him and regards it with deep longing. "Jack Harkness, I think that this is going to be the beginning of a beautiful friendship."

******Tick, Tock, Tick, Tock, Tick, Tock******

One hour later, minus the paper cuts and panic attacks, the Doctor places the last finished form in the tray. "We're done! We did it! Everybody lives!" he shouts as he bounces around the room.

Jack laughs out loud at the sight of the Doctor dancing around the room, he's glad to see him so happy. The Doctor runs over to his desk and hops up to seat himself on the edge.

The Doctor slaps his hand down on the desk and proclaims, "Jack, you're a lifesaver! I don't know what I would have done without you! If you ever need anything, please let me know."

Jack shifts uncomfortably in his chair and timidly glances up at the Doctor. He clears his throat nervously and refuses to meet the Doctor's eyes as he tells him, "I don't have all that much experience with women. In fact, when I say not all that much, I mean basically none at all."

The Doctor's eyebrows practically shoot up into his hairline at this statement but he nods his head and urges Jack to continue.

Jack, flushing with obvious embarrassment, mumbles, "Could you please give me some advice on women?" He lifts his head and displays the same pleading expression that the Doctor wore not one hour ago. "I'm just so desperate to win Donna's heart."

The manic grin that Jack has heard so much about finally makes an appearance on the Doctor's face. He lays a comforting hand on Jack's shoulder and states, "Well, I'm not exactly Cassanova, but I think that together we can figure something out."

Something akin to hope flare's in Jack's eyes while he watches the Doctor tug on his ear as he gazes at the ceiling, lost deep in thought. He's heard great things about this man, he hopes that he's as brilliant as they say he is.

"Jack", announces the Doctor suddenly, "I don't usually have a ready plan but I do believe that I have some ideas to win a lady's heart." He leans in closer and they begin to conspire. "Now here's what we're going to do…"

**Next Chapter: Meeting The Family**


	2. Meeting The Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Donna and Jack are hired to work at Torchwood. Jack fell in love with Donna at first sight and asks the Doctor for help to win her affections. Will he win the girl or will their bungled attempts blow up in his face? **Sixth of the Forever After Series**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author'sNote: The Doctor's Citreon that is constantly being mocked and ridiculed was purchased in My Other Transport Used To Be A Tardis. I would suggest reading it if you haven't because you can't truly appreciate how crap his car truly is until you read that story. My husband actually bought me a Citreon from Matchbox that I painted blue, and WOW, I wish you could see it because that, my friends, is exactly how I pictured the Doctor's car, crappy paint job and all. :)  
> Also, my beloved British husband assures me that a gentleman's club is the equivalent to a strip club. 
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own anything in relation to Dr. Who.

******Tuesday******

**SLAM!** Rose and the Doctor's heads shoot up from their meeting with Donna to see Wilfred Mott staggering through the door and clutching his chest.

Donna is the first to respond as she jumps out of her chair and rushes to her grandfather's side. "Gramps! Are you all right? What are you doing here? What happened?"

The Doctor comes along Wilf's other side and starts taking his pulse. "Easy, Donna! We don't want him under any more strain than he is now! Old people's hearts have to work harder!"

Wilf gives the Doctor an annoyed glance and then turns a worried expression to Donna. "Forget about me, Donna! Are you alright, love? Some doctor from Torchwood called and said that your car had been involved in a bombing! I got here as fast as I could!"

Donna straightens, rigid with anger, and barks, "Who the hell would call and tell you that?"

The Doctor finishes tending to Wilf and directs his apology to him. "I'm sorry. Didn't I mention that the bombing was yesterday? My bad. Oh, well. Now that you're here, perhaps we should start introductions?"

With a scathing glare, Donna shoves the Doctor out of the way and squeezes her grandfather's shoulder in concern. "Are you having an attack, Gramps? Was the shock too much for your heart?"

"It wasn't the shock that's done me in Donna, my love, it was the walk." He pats her hand comfortingly before trudging over to an armchair.

"What walk?" questions Donna. "What happened to your car?"

"The bloody thing ran out of gas on the way here. I had to run all the way from the Getisome Hotel. You know, the one where the i has fallen off of the sign." He leans his head back and closes his eyes while Rose moves to slide a pillow under his head.

"You traipsed here all the way from Tennant Street?" shrieks Donna. She turns to the Doctor and mouths 'You're dead" and yells, "Jack, get Gramps some water now!"

Eyes still closed, Wilf requests, "And could you add some scotch to that, son?" Jack smiles a knowing smile while Rose intercepts Donna before she can reach the Doctor.

Desperate to distract Donna's ire from the man cowering in the corner, she drags her back over to Wilf. "Is there anything that I can get you, Sir? I'm Rose Tyler. It's a pleasure to meet you."

Wilf slowly cracks open one eye at the sound of Rose's voice and then suddenly bolts upright. "Rose Tyler! Of course I know who you are, love! You're the Vitex heiress! You're in all of Donna's magazines!" He straightens his cardigan and smoothes is hair back as he kisses Rose's hand and murmurs, "Enchante'."

Rose giggles in amusement and even Donna laughs softly while she shakes her head. If he's able to flirt with Rose then she knows that he'll be okay.

"So Rose, if you work for Torchwood then you must have an open mind. Have you ever considered dating an older man? After all, older is better," he purrs as he gives her his most sultry look.

Before Rose can answer him, the Doctor braves Donna's fierce presence and pops up behind Rose, placing his arm possessively around her waist. "She already knows that, thank you. Hello, I'm the Doctor." He pulls Rose tighter against his side. "And she's taken."

"Really, sweetheart?" asks Wilf of Rose. "Is he the best that you can do?"

Both Rose and Donna break out into uncontrollable laughter as the Doctor scowls and a chuckling Jack approaches the group with Wilf's drink. "Here you go, Mr. Mott. Just the way you like it, if I remember correctly."

Wilf automatically reaches his hand out for the drink and says, "Thank you, son, I…Captain Jack Harkness! How have you been lad? What brings you to London?"

Donna holds up a hand to interrupt and questions, "You know him? Wait a minute!" She turns to face Jack. "Captain? There's nothing on your resume about being in the military."

This time, it's Wilf who interrupts Jack's reply. "Not the military, Donna! It's his nickname and well earned and all! Captain Jack, the best fish and chips cook in all the chippies in Cardiff!"

Jack blushes and waves his hand dismissively. "You're too kind, Mr. Mott."

"Well, it's true isn't it?" insists Wilf. He shifts to face the other three and explains, "You see, me and my mates got tired of taking seaside trips for holidays and ended up in Cardiff on a lark. The trip was turning out quite the bust until we met Captain Jack. Once we tasted his fry ups, we went back every day until we had to leave."

Donna's eyes narrow sharply as she inquires, "Wasn't that trip the reason that you had to start seeing a cardiologist?" She casts an evil-eye towards Jack. "Because of your high cholesterol?"

The Doctor's sidelong glance at Jack reveals a stricken expression and a slight upward tilt to his lips. _NodoubtattheprospectofDonna'swrathmakingafull-blow nappearance._ The Doctor sighs inwardly. _WheredoIfindthesepeople?_

Rose casts a sympathetic gaze at Jack. The Doctor informed her of his feelings for Donna and she wants to do all that she can to help him. She steps forward to draw the attention away from Jack and clears her throat to mention, "You know, the Doctor and I just bought the Getisome Hotel for our new home. We're actually living in it now while we renovate it."

Donna stares at Rose, completely stunned at this news. "You bought that wreck? I read in the paper that it was about to be condemned when two pillocks…I mean, prospective buyers swooped in and saved it from demolition. I guess that was you two idiots…I mean, innovative…"

The Doctor and Rose both give her a hard stare. "Individuals?" she tries one last time. They continue to stare, their arms crossed in a defensive gesture. "Well, what do you want me to say? Imbeciles? Because that would be more fitting! That hotel is a piece of crap!"

A sudden thought occurs to Donna. "Is that how you ended up with that car? Was it part of the deal?"

The Doctor is about to retort when Wilf pushes him away while simultaneously advising, "Let it go, son. She'll eat you alive."

Wilf takes up Rose's hand again and gives it an affectionate pat. "I'm so glad to hear that you're spiffing up the place. That eyesore was starting to affect the rest of the neighborhood. Can you believe that somebody actually had the nerve to abandon their car right in front of your hotel?"

He gives a disheartened shake of his head as he gazes woefully at Donna. "And it's a Citreon too, Donna. Oh, if you could see the state it was in, it would make you cry."

The Doctor gasps in indignation while Donna snickers and Rose suddenly becomes quite taken with her new shoes.

Wilf immediately perks up again as he suggests to Jack, "We should go out together and have a lad's night out!" He gives a sly wink and a chuckle as he confides, "I know a few pubs, gentleman's clubs and a bit of trouble that we could get into."

Jack darts an uncomfortable look towards Donna and replies, "Oh, I don't know, Sir. I'm not much of a drinker and I've never had the inclination to visit," he whispers, "one of those clubs."

Wilf shakes off his slight disappointment and queries, "Not much of a Jack the Lad, eh son?" He leans back in the chair and chirps, "Ah, it doesn't matter, we can go somewhere else."

He leans forward with a glint in his eye and declares, "I have a business proposition for you, lad. A very profitable one, I might add."

Donna groans and starts rubbing her temples. "Not another pensioners scheme, Gramps?"

Wilf adopts a sad pout and intones in a pitiful voice, "I'm just trying to earn a few extra quid, Donna, my love. There's not much that you can do these days on an old age pension."

Donna rolls her eyes and Jack asks in concern, "How can I help?"

Wilf's smile is practically wolfish as he answers, "A few mates of mine are looking to shift", he clears his throat while avoiding Donna's speculative gaze, "I mean, sell some high-quality merchandise."

Knowing he has peaked their interest, he throws his hands up in the air and crows, "Fish fryers!" The various degrees of confusion on all of their faces causes Wilf to roll his eyes in exasperation and explain, "With Captain Jack using his culinary expertise to demonstrate the product, we're sure to make money hand over fist!"

A startled Wilf leans back as far as he can when an angry Jack, bearing a very stern expression, approaches him and growls out, "Mr. Mott. Please do not speak like that in front of the ladies!"

Wilf is momentarily speechless until he breaks out into a hearty laugh. He shakes his head in amusement and persists, "What do you say, Jack? We can discuss it over tea and you can entertain me with some more of your stories!"

He turns his attention to his audience and boasts, "You know, this is one funny lad! There hasn't been one story that he's told me yet where he doesn't end up naked!"

Jack is completely mortified at this statement and gapes at Donna as he protests, "It's not what you think!"

Donna responds with a disbelieving snort while the Doctor and Rose share a look of remembrance. It's the Doctor who finally mutters, "It never is."

Wilf eyes him warily before speaking to Rose. "If you ever need a good man, I can recommend one to you." The Doctor's head swivels around at the implied insult as Wilf continues sweetly, "Of course, I mean in regards to a contractor. Have you ever heard of a bloke that goes by the name of David McDonald? His hands can work absolute magic!"

The Doctor shuts his eyes tight and he clenches his fists at his sides while he counts to ten. Rose bites her lip and takes a moment to compose herself before answering Wilf. "Yes actually, he's the construction supervisor in charge of our renovation. And you're right, he's very good with his hands."

"And what does that mean?" demands the Doctor.

Wilf smirks up at the Doctor and innocently inquires, "Oh, you still here then?" He pushes himself up from the chair and announces, "Well, time to be off!"

As he stands up, he requests, "Donna, love, could you please call your mum and have her meet me with a petrol can in front of the hotel? I don't want my car towed away along with that monstrosity over there. Funny, it's still there. Officer Pond usually keeps a tidier beat than that."

The Doctor's shoulders slump and he turns to Rose with a pained expression. "I don't understand this, Rose. It may have taken some time, but my Donna, she loved me and the other Wilf, he adored me! Why is this happening? It's like, it's like…"

"Like we're living in a parallel universe?" supplies Rose helpfully.

"Oh, shut up," pouts the Doctor which causes Rose to reprimand him by sticking out her tongue.

In a last ditch effort to get into Wilf's good graces, the Doctor offers, "Mr. Mott, I have my car right outside if you'd like me to give you a lift to the hotel."

Both Donna and Rose are standing behind the Doctor gesturing wildly for Wilf not to accept that ride as Jack merely shakes his head in the negative. Wilf takes in all of this in one glance and smiles slightly, patting his breast pocket, as he states, "No, thank you, son. I'll just use my bus pass. Thank you for the offer though."

He waves one last time and reminds Jack, "Now you set up a time with my Donna and we'll have that night out!" He beckons Rose over to meet him at the door and murmurs wistfully, "Oh, Rose, to be young again."

Rose grins wide, her cheeks tinged pink from his flattery, waiting expectantly for what he wants to tell her. "You'll have to forgive the musings of an old man but I want you to forget what I said earlier about myself and David because I'm going to have to ask you to stay on with your bloke."

The Doctor wears a smug and satisfied grin, confident that he has finally won Wilf over to his side. Rose still appears confused so Wilf clarifies, "I need you to stay with him so that he'll stay away from my Donna!" He turns to the others and shouts, "Bye then!"

When Rose turns around, she sees Donna's look of disgust, the Doctor's face displaying offense and horror, while Jack is casting a suspicious glance at the Doctor. She takes in all of their reactions at once and thinks, _Hmmm. I guess some things really don't need saying._

**Next Chapter: Be Chivalrous And Offer Your Assistance**


	3. Be Chivalrous And Offer Your Assistance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Donna and Jack are hired to work at Torchwood. Jack fell in love with Donna at first sight and asks the Doctor for help to win her affections. Will he win the girl or will their bungled attempts blow up in his face? **Sixth of the Forever After Series**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author'sNote: Although there is nothing explicit in this chapter, I would like to state this as a strong T rating for suggestive material.  
> Also, the idea of the plastic of Pete's world being a cousin to the Nestene Consciousness that will be mentioned in this chapter was brought to life in Do Not Sonic The Action Figures by Kelkat9. She very graciously let me borrow the idea for Good Things Come To Those Who Wait and for two follow ups to include those characters.
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own anything in relation to Dr. Who.

******Wednesday******

"See, Jack?" grunts the Doctor as he and Jack struggle with maneuvering Donna's armoire through her bedroom door. "Women can claim to be as independent as they like but when the chips are down, they still need a strong man nearby to lend them a hand."

"So Doc," replies Jack, "tell me more about this plastic cousin to the Nestene Consciousness."

"Well," groans the Doctor as he tugs on the armoire, "apparently sonic waves animate the plastic of this world and not only appear to bring it to life, but actually enable it to become a sentient being. At least that's what I gathered after Tony's Star Wars figures came to life."

Jack is sweating profusely and displays a huge grin as he wipes off his brow with the back of his hand. "That is awesome! Man, I loved the Star Wars movies when I was a kid." He makes a face as he recalls one particular memory. "Except for that scene when Princess Leia tells Han Solo that she loves him and he replies 'I know'. What a crap response. I mean seriously, who in their right mind does that?"

The Doctor's face goes blank as he suddenly stops trying to shift his grip into a more comfortable position and drops his end of the armoire. Jack cries, "Careful, Doc! We don't want to damage any of Donna's furniture. We're trying to wriggle me into her good graces, remember?"

 _Theotheryouknewallaboutwriggling._ The Doctor pops his head around the corner to look at Jack and apologizes. "Sorry about that. I'm just a bit winded. How about we take a break?"

"Yeah," Jack agrees, "I wouldn't mind taking a breather. This is hard work." He leans back against the armoire and takes a deep breath. "It probably wouldn't be so difficult to move if Donna had taken everything out first."

"What?" squeaks the Doctor.

"It's really full, packed to the brim. She didn't want the moving truck to lose a single item of her purses, hats, shoes, and um….what do you call all that other stuff?"

The Doctor gives him a dry look and poses, "Accessories?"

Jack lights up in response. "Yeah, that!" His gaze travels around the mostly empty room, except for a few pieces of furniture, until it lands on the Doctor. "You know, your sonic screwdriver sounds really impressive. Will you show me how it works?"

He looks a bit sheepish as he adds, "I have to admit that I'm a total geek when it comes to anything resembling science fiction or extraterrestrial origin."

 _SoI'venoticed_ , reflects the Doctor.

"Please, Doc?" begs Jack. "The Nestene Consciousness stuff was fascinating. I would be honored if you would show me some Spock!"

The Doctor rolls his eyes in exasperation and warns, "Fine, but we need to make sure there's no plastic around here so that I'm able to show you that particular setting. I don't want any surprises." They check out the room thoroughly but only find wooden furniture.

Suddenly, the Doctor's eyes light up with devilish glee and he begins to giggle madly. "On second thought, I have an idea." He goes over to the desk where he left his jacket and starts rummaging through the pockets.

"Yes! I knew it was here somewhere!" He turns back to Jack holding a pair of fake teeth. At Jack's questioning look, the Doctor explains, "Tony gave them to me as a 'Welcome to the Universe' gift when I first arrived here. You never know when something like this might come in handy."

He adjusts the setting on the sonic screwdriver and aims them at the teeth. "If all goes well, this should give us both a right laugh."

One press of the sonic screwdriver's button brings the teeth to life, moving around the Doctor's hand as they begin to chatter away. Guffawing like schoolboys, they are both so caught up in their amusement that it's a total surprise when the teeth jump out of the Doctor's hand and bite him.

The Doctor instantly doubles over in pain and starts swearing in Gallifreyan. Jack sympathizes, "Oohhhh, Doc! That looks like it hurt!" The Doctor merely glares at him and grabs the teeth, throwing them to the floor and using the sonic to turn them back off.

He's starting to straighten back up when he hears a pounding noise, like someone using a hammer or repeatedly knocking on a door. Jack hears it too and they both start looking around the room to try and discover its origin.

Their search brings them to Donna's nightstand, which is shaking back and forth, as if something was trying to escape from the drawer. The Doctor grows horrified while Jack expresses utter confusion.

"Doc, could that be an effect from your sonic screwdriver?" He continues to stare at the drawer as if he's trying to work out a puzzle. "What on Earth could be in there that's made of plastic?"

The Doctor is standing stock still in sheer terror while watching the nightstand continually hit the wall. He is unable to do more than whisper back, "Dear Rassilon. Please let it be a television remote."

Jack shakes his head as he disagrees, "I don't think a remote would be humming like that."

The Doctor merely gapes at Jack who continues to contemplate the nightstand in bewilderment. He glances over at the Doctor for one more confused moment before realization finally dawns on what exactly is causing the pounding and humming.

Instantly, his eyes widen to the size of saucers and he starts shouting, "Undo it! Undo it! Undo it!"

The Doctor snaps out of his daze and sputters, "Of course, yes, right, absolutely, right away." He adjusts the sonic one last time and both breathe a sigh of relief when the pounding ceases and the room falls silent.

They're wiping the sweat off of their foreheads when Donna and Rose enter the room carrying trays of sandwiches and lemonade. Donna quickly zeroes in on their panic stricken faces and growls, "What did you do?"

"Nothing," they reply in unison.

She takes note of their pale faces and inability to meet her eyes and she throws them a suspicious glance before she scans her bedroom for any problems. Her eyes fall on her nightstand, which is about two feet from where it was last time, and she screeches, "Have you been in my drawers?"

Jack turns white as a sheet while the Doctor covers smoothly by stating, "Donna, I'm very hurt at that accusation. We wouldn't even think of invading your privacy in such a crude fashion." He grabs Jack by the back of the neck and propels him through the door while announcing, "Come Jack, we still have work to do. Allonsy!"

Rose pokes her tongue out between her teeth and innocently inquires, "Why Donna Noble, is there something in your drawers that you wouldn't want anyone to see?"

Donna laughs outright and says, "Hardly. It's something that Gramps gave me and knowing your boyfriend's penchant for gadgets, I didn't want it to end up broken."

She pulls out a cell phone from the nightstand drawer and murmurs, "It looks like I've just missed his call. I've got to remember to take this thing off of vibrate." She searches for his number while she tells Rose, "It's some new prototype that he got off one of his dodgy mates. With the exception of the electrical components, it's made entirely out of plastic."

Rose is just barely able to suppress her laughter as she puts together this information along with the Doctor and Jack's reactions to their sudden appearance. She thought that she had heard the sonic's hum just before they came in the room.

The call finally connects and Wilf answers right away. "What's up, Gramps? Okay. Where are you exactly? Yeah, that part of town is tricky. If you want to avoid the traffic then just wait for the light to go green and turn left."

**Next Chapter: Impress Her With Your Ride**


	4. Impress Her With Your Ride

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Donna and Jack are hired to work at Torchwood. Jack fell in love with Donna at first sight and asks the Doctor for help to win her affections. Will he win the girl or will their bungled attempts blow up in his face? **Sixth of the Forever After Series**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author'sNote: The reference to Inspector Burnside refers to an inspector on The Bill who my husband said was very mouthy. Hello, Officer Pond! This chapter does have the obligatory Jack ending up naked scene, but it's not what you think. ;) There is nothing explicit in this chapter, but I would still like to give this a strong T rating just because it's Jack.
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own anything in relation to Dr. Who.

******Thursday******

"This is ridiculous," huffs Donna in frustration. "How much longer do we have to wait for him? It's been ten minutes!"

The Doctor wears a smug smirk as he crows, "See? Ten minutes is a long time." When Donna turns her head to give him a scorching glare and Rose widens her eyes in the rear view mirror in warning, the Doctor quickly adds, "Shutting up now."

Donna nods her head curtly and grumbles, "Good idea."

The Doctor sighs and offers, "I'll go up and find out what's taking Jack so long, shall I?" Rose sends him a grateful smile and Donna merely mutters, "Well don't take all day."

The Doctor feels momentarily guilty as he exits the car for leaving Rose with a complaining Donna but they seem to get on quite well together. Even better than he and Donna did, once they had sorted out their differences. He's slightly jealous and disappointed but then again, the same thing could be said for him and Jack. It's funny how the introduction of parallel counterparts can change the whole dynamic of a relationship.

He steps off of the elevator and makes his way over to Jack's door, knocking loudly three times. He calls out through the door, "Come on, Jack. It's considered rude to keep a lady waiting!" He then mumbles to himself, "Or Donna."

He raps sharply one more time and yells, "Jack!" as loud as he can before an uneasy feeling begins to settle in his chest. With Jack's strict dedication to punctuality, the Doctor knows that something is wrong and he pulls out his sonic screwdriver and uses the magnetic setting to turn the locks.

He bursts into the living room shouting, "Jack! Jack! Where are you?"

A barely distinct voice answers, "I'm in here, in my bedroom."

The Doctor rushes toward the sound of Jack's voice and stops dead in his tracks. He has traveled countless centuries through time and space and working for both U.N.I.T. and Torchwood has prepared him for many things, but this, this was not one of them.

Jack is lying back on his pillow, one arm handcuffed to the metal slats on the headboard and naked as the day he was born. His legs are curled up to his chest and wearing a woeful expression, he greets, "Hey, Doc. It's not what you think."

The Doctor automatically replies, "I know, Jack. It never…whoa!" The Doctor instantly spins to face the wall as he glimpses a little too much of Jack. "For Rassilon's sake man, you need to cover up!"

He scans the room for something to hand to him but as Jack has just moved in, there's not much around to help him. He finally spies a plush wizard doll in the corner on a chair. _I'mnotevengoingtoask._

He continues to look at the wall while reaching back to hand the doll to Jack who accepts it gratefully and quickly covers himself. "Thanks, Doc." Jack's voice is full of resignation as he asks, "Well, aren't you going to ask me what happened?"

The Doctor takes a quick glance to make sure that Jack's decently covered before answering, "I was trying to respect your dignity."

Jack laughs a bitter laugh and retorts, "Does it look like I have any left?"

The Doctor rubs his hands across his face as he questions, "Okay, so what happened?"

Jack sighs and responds, "It was a burglar. He came in the middle of the night while I was dead asleep and the next thing I knew, I had a gun pointed at my head. As you can see, my stuff hasn't arrived yet and he wasn't too pleased to find out that he broke into an empty apartment. He thought it would be funny to take my pajamas and leave me handcuffed to the bed."

The Doctor gives Jack an incredulous look as he chastises, "You know, that sounds just a little too hard to believe."

A voice behind him and the sound of a gun being cocked behind his head causes the Doctor to freeze as the intruder growls, "Maybe this will help to convince you. I wouldn't have even had to come back here if I hadn't dropped something." He pushes the gun barrel into the back of the Doctor's head and orders, "Now move, over by the bed."

******Meanwhile, downstairs in the car…******

"What the hell is keeping those two?" barks Donna. "If I had wanted to wait this long, I would have went to the DMV and registered my new car!"

Rose releases a puff of air in sympathy. It really has been a long time. Rose opens her car door and reasons, "Donna, let's go up there and see what going on. They probably just got caught up in some new gadget that the Doctor's showing off to Jack and they've lost track of time."

"Yeah, I've noticed that," muses Donna. "You've really need to start going through that man's pockets before you let him out of the house, Rose."

Rose chuckles and states, "Trust me, Donna. That never works."

They walk briskly into Jack's apartment building, eager to be on their way, and Rose directs Donna to the elevator. A large man carrying a bundle of clothes under his arm exits the lift and courteously nods his head in acknowledgement as he holds the doors open for the two women. Both women smile at him in thanks and as the doors close, Donna notes, "It's nice to know that chivalry isn't dead."

Their trip doesn't take long at all and they soon enter the hallway to find Jack's door wide open. Each woman glances at the other, instantly knowing that they are thinking the same thing. Stun guns withdrawn, they slowly inch towards the door.

Rose is unable to detect any sounds coming from the apartment and a quick peek inside doesn't show anyone else nearby. With a swift nod of her head, Rose indicates to Donna to follow her inside. They keep their guns out in front of them in case anyone tries to take them by surprise as they move speedily in out of each room.

Both women find their confusion and fear increasing as they find each room quiet and empty, that is, until they reach Jack's bedroom. The sight that greets them not only causes them to freeze where they stand but to also double over in laughter.

The horror of Donna and Rose's sudden appearance results at both men staring at them with gazes similar to a deer caught in headlights. The Doctor, who is using Jack's pillow to protect his modesty, has the presence of mind to squeak out, "It's not what you think."

Donna spots the plush doll that Jack is shielding himself with and remarks, "Well, isn't that wizard?" Rose breaks out into guffaws of laughter and she and Donna grasp at each other's arms, barely managing to hold themselves upright.

Jack groans in mortification and the Doctor snaps, "Yes, yes, very funny! Now do you think that you two could possibly find my sonic screwdriver and release us from these handcuffs? I think it rolled under the bed when the robber surprised us!"

Neither woman is able to contain their mirth as Rose loudly snickers while she searches for the sonic and Jack tells a giggling Donna where she can find some clothes for him and the Doctor.

Once both men are dressed in jeans, trainers and a matching pair of D & D Bistro t-shirts, they all drive down to the police station to fill out a report. Their wait at the police desk ends when a Scottish brogue interrupts their reverie and greets, "Hello, I'm Officer Pond. I'll be taking your statement."

The Doctor's eyes narrow, blazing in anger. He informs her, "Oh, I have a statement all right! I want another officer, now!"

Officer Pond gives him a peculiar stare until a look of recognition passes across her features. She promptly recalls, "Oh, it's you. And how are you, Sir? If you're here to file a report for a stolen car, let me check our records first. It might have just been towed away."

The Doctor gawks at her and is about to deliver a scathing retort when Donna interrupts him. She leans on the desk and scolds, "Look Sunshine, I'm sure it's a right laugh to play Inspector Burnside with my friend here but we're on serious business. These two gentlemen were held at gunpoint earlier which means that there's an armed assailant in the area. Now the last I knew, that's an actual cause for concern. So if you don't mind, we'd like to do our duty to Queen and country and file a report as we have somewhere else that we need to be."

Officer Pond immediately straightens at this rebuke and replies, "Of course, Maam. Please allow me a moment to pull the appropriate forms and I'll be right back to assist you."

As she takes her leave, Donna turns around with a self satisfied smirk and says, "And that, lady and gentlemen, is how that is done."

You could literally watch Jack fall more in love with Donna, his knight in shining armor, while the Doctor thought to himself, _Theresheis._

Rose wore a gentle smile as the Doctor whispered aloud, "Brilliant!"

******Twenty minutes later******

Rose and Donna have already dropped the men off at Jack's place to pick up his car and are currently waiting for them outside of the hotel. Donna glances up at the sign, GET SOME HOTEL, and remarks, "You know Rose, you really should have someone fix that sign."

Rose leans against her car and with a twinkle in her eyes, she replies, "Oh, I don't know Donna. It's actually pretty appropriate."

Donna makes a noise of disgust and proclaims, "I so did not need to know that."

The women are so busy chatting that they are completely caught unaware when Jack and the Doctor pull up alongside the curb. Their expressions are indescribable as they take in the appearance of Jack's car. It is a turquoise Morris Mini with a red roof and red rotating hubcaps and a large number three painted on the driver's side of the door.

Donna is dumbfounded as she turns to ask Rose, "What on Earth is that supposed to be?"

Rose answers with a slight question. "I think it's a Mini? Although, I don't recall having ever seen one that small before."

Donna stares on at it in amazement and repeats, "A Mini. More like miniscule. Who made it? Matchbox?"

Rose bites her lip and bumps her elbow against Donna's side and whispers, "Donna, not so loud. I think Jack's trying to impress you with his ride."

Donna gives Rose an incredulous look and opines, "I've basically seen him naked and now I've seen his pathetic excuse for a car. I think you can guess which ride that I'm more impressed with."

Rose barks out a loud laugh and swats Donna's arm. Jack runs around the front of his car to join the women and asks, "So, what do you think?"

Rose cautions Donna with a quick glance to be nice and Donna declares, "It's a very interesting car, Jack. I can't believe what I'm seeing."

The Doctor finally exits the car, stretching his back muscles and rubbing his neck. "Try riding in it," he grouses.

Not having heard the Doctor's complaint, Jack boasts, "I bought it when I worked at Torchwood 3, that's what the three stands for. Dr. Harper helped me pick it out since I don't really know much about cars."

The Doctor looks off to the side and concludes, _._ He then beckons them over to the hotel's front doors and suggests, "Why don't you two go inside? Rose and I will unload what's in the boot of her car and then we'll be right with you."

As soon as Donna and Jack have entered the lobby, the Doctor spins back towards Rose and moans, "Did you see that…that…that shoe? What exactly is he supposed to help me move with that?"

Rose glimpses the car with an uneasy expression and croaks, "Um, I don't know. Maybe he could take the microscopes and slides?"

Without warning, Donna and Jack suddenly burst out of the front doors and skid to a halt in front of the Doctor and Rose. Donna screeches, "Do you two know that there are two owls in there?"

Rose calmly states, "Oh, yeah. That's Shiver and Shake, they live here too."

The Doctor rocks back onto his heels as he announces, "You might want to keep an eye out for Han Solo and Princess Leia too. Oh! And they might be flying the Millenium Falcon. We're never quite sure when they'll be in it." He tugs on his ear as he explains, "I just can't seem to convince Han to file a flight plan."

Donna gawks at both of them disbelievingly while Jack simply vocalizes his excitement with fanboy glee. "Cool!"

Each member of the quartet grabs a box from the trunk of Rose's car before heading back into the hotel. Right before they enter the front doors, Donna catches Jack reading the sign above their heads and he blushes when he meets her eyes.

Donna purposely shifts the box in her arms as she strides directly over to him and informs him, "You have some hope," before walking into the lobby.

Instead of being discouraged, Jack runs over to the Doctor and Rose and inquires eagerly, "Did you hear that? She said that I have some hope!"

The couple watches him bounce merrily into the hotel as the Doctor merely shakes his head and murmurs, "Jack Harkness, you are an impossible thing."

He looks over at Rose who is still staring after Jack. She turns her head to face him and says, "Well, Doctor, impossible is what we do best."

They share a smile and a laugh as they walk up the steps leading to the front doors and are just in time to hear Donna's shrill cry of "Did you also know that you have bats?"

**Next Chapter: Show Her That You Care**


	5. Show Her That You Care

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Donna and Jack are hired to work at Torchwood. Jack fell in love with Donna at first sight and asks the Doctor for help to win her affections. Will he win the girl or will their bungled attempts blow up in his face? **Sixth of the Forever After Series**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author'sNote: I don't know if you've ever seen the movie Tommy Boy, but it's one of my favorite movies and so worth it to watch. I would like the friendship between the Doctor and this world's Jack to reflect the humor between Chris Farley and David Spade in Tommy Boy as their friendship grew. I hope that shines through. :)
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own anything in relation to Dr. Who, Sir Mix-A-Lot or Glenn Miller.

**Chapter 5 Show Her That You Care**

******Friday******

"Good morning, Mr. Harkness!" greets the Doctor as he walks through the door and hops up onto Jack's desk. He leans in conspiratorially and inquires, "Are you ready for Operation: Plus One?"

"Absolutely!" vows Jack with enthusiasm. He then claps his hands expectantly together and asks, "What is it?"

The Doctor's manic grin turns smug as he states, "Today is all about showing Donna that you care, doing the little things for her that let her know that you think she's special." He quickly scans the office. "By the way, where is she?"

Jack casts his eyes down towards the desk and mumbles, "She's down in Medical."

The Doctor's head rears back in surprise and he questions, "What, again?" He realizes that Jack is purposely avoiding his gaze and he asks in a voice laced with accusation, "You didn't make her any more fish and chips did you?"

Jack's head spins around at the implied insult to his cooking. "Hey! That was my best recipe!" He slumps down in his chair, looking forlorn, and pouts, "Who knew she was allergic to cod?"

The Doctor stares off in remembrance as he says, "Yes, and it was so fast acting too. You know, I've never seen hives and boils appear so quickly before." Glimpsing a despondent Jack out of the corner of his eye, he adds, "Of course, they faded just as quickly, what with Torchwood's advanced medicine."

Jack perks up slightly and enthuses, "Yeah. And now that the swelling in her tongue has gone down, she can talk again."

"Yes," agrees the Doctor with sarcasm, "her tongue's as sharp as ever. Oh, well. It was nice while it lasted." The Doctor shrugs as he asks curiously, "So why is she down there now?"

Jack refuses to meet his eyes again as he answers, "She's been having some stomach trouble."

The Doctor's eyes narrow in suspicion as he challenges, "And _nothing_ to do with the cod?"

Jack replies, "No, it wasn't the cod!" He sinks down a little further into his chair when he confesses, "It was the coffee."

"Coffee?" repeats the Doctor. "Granted, Torchwood doesn't offer the best coffee, but I've never known it to make anyone sick before."

Jack finally meets his eyes as he admits, "That's because they weren't drinking my special blend."

The Doctor rubs his hands over his eyes and with a loud sigh asks, "What's in the special blend, Jack?"

Jack waves his hands dismissively and states, "Oh, a little of this and a little of that. Ianto Jones taught me how to make it. What a great co-worker. He said that he wouldn't even dream of sharing his 'special blend' with anyone but me."

A feeling of mistrust is beginning to grow in the Doctor as he queries, "Really? Your old Torchwood seemed very eager to assist you, Jack." He doesn't want to hurt Jack's feelings as he confirms his doubts, so he nonchalantly asks, "Did anyone else ever try to help you out?"

Jack instantly replies, "Well, there was Tosh, our computer expert. She programmed my ring tone for me. Here, listen." A loud blast of 'I like big butts and I can not lie' blares out of Jack's phone before he shuts it off and gazes hopefully at the Doctor. "Would you happen to know how to change it?"

The Doctor grabs the phone off of him and replies, "Yes. Let's do that now, shall we? We don't want Donna to hear that when it goes off." He pulls out his sonic and resets the phone to download a new tune.

He chirps, "That's better!" as he hands the phone back to Jack who gives him an inquisitive look. The Doctor states, "Your new ring tone is Glenn Miller's In The Mood, always a classic."

Still wanting to confirm his suspicious about Jack's former colleagues, the Doctor glances at the ceiling with casual indifference while clucking his tongue. "So, Jack…exactly how well did you get along with your former Torchwood co-workers?"

Jack takes a moment to think about it before answering confidently, "Pretty well, considering."

"The Doctor's eyes narrow as he asks, "Considering what?"

Jack explains, "Well, everyone there had been there for years. They logged in extra hours and shifts and did all of these disgusting tasks that the other Torchwood branches never seemed to have assigned to them. I mean, they really paid their dues. And then I come in, because the owner of **COD WE TASTE ANY BETTER?** was retiring and Director Tyler hires me right off of the street.

The Doctor is blown away by this latest admission and reiterates, "Pete hired you?"

Jack proudly declares, "Yeah, he's one of my biggest fans! He'd come to the shop all of the time whenever he was in Cardiff and sometimes he'd have meals flown out to him." Jack leans back in his chair with his hands behind his head and says, "You know Doc, for a millionaire, that man has an excellent palate for the common man's food."

The Doctor nods his head convincingly as he thinks, _And just a bit of a mean streak to stick you with that lot under those circumstances._ He decides to continue his query. "No problems fitting in then?"

Jack sits back up and shakes his head. "Not that I ever noticed."

_How very you,_ comprehends the Doctor.

Jack leans forward eagerly and questions, "So, what's next on the agenda, Doc?"

The Doctor eyes him pointedly as he suggests, "Well, let's stay away from anything that requires direct contact with her digestive system, shall we? And we'll scrap flowers too. That carnivorous rose bush that we found yesterday might have put her off of them for awhile."

Jack inquires, "How is Rose doing after yesterday?"

The Doctor tugs on his ear and insists, "Oh, she'll be fine, she's just a little chewed on. She'll be back in tomorrow." He crosses his arms and remarks, "The paralytic poison from the thorns is practically eradicated from her system. You know, when they first cut her and she started to go numb, I tried to calm her by telling her 'Don't worry, you've been in worse scratches than this." He turns to look out the window and grouses, "She didn't seem to think that was very funny."

Jack merely stares at him in disbelief but in honor of their budding friendship he offers, "Women. Go figure." Secretly wondering if this is truly the man that he should be taking advice on women from, Jack decides to plow ahead anyway and asks, "Then what should we do?"

Tilting his head in contemplation, the Doctor ponders aloud, "Well, let's see…what are her interests? Hmmm…I know! Her car! She loves her car! She was so excited when she was able to find the same make and model that she had before the bombing."

Jack suddenly groans and drops his head down onto the desk. The Doctor pokes him in the shoulder and pries, "And what's wrong with you then? Where's your fighting spirit? The Jack Harkness that I knew never had any trouble rising to the occasion."

Jack begins nervously, "Doc, do you remember that incendiary device that they found under Donna's car that caused the explosion?"

The Doctor says, "Yes, but what does that have to do with anything?"

Jack mumbles, "I was the one who put it there."

The Doctor jumps off the desk and shouts, "What? What are you talking about, Jack?"

He looks at the Doctor as he runs his hand through his hair in desperation. "I didn't mean to blow up her car, it was an accident! It's just that the weather has been so cold lately and I didn't want her engine to freeze so I put a paraffin lamp under her car."

The Doctor places his hand on his chest and breathes a sigh of relief and notes soothingly, "A paraffin lamp wouldn't cause a car to explode."

Jack's expression becomes even guiltier as he confesses, "It would if you added too much oil."

The Doctor starts to look worried as he protests, "You don't need to add any oil, Jack. The paraffin lamps that are sold here already come pre-filled with the oil."

Jack admits, "I know that but I didn't think that it was enough so I added some more oil." He looks imploringly at the Doctor and vows, "I just wanted to keep her safe! I even bought the best oil on the market!"

The Doctor's worry increases ten-fold and he swallows hard before inquiring, "What kind of oil?"

Staring at him as if he was the village idiot, Jack ridicules, "Duh! I used motor oil, of course. It's for her car."

Absolutely stricken at the thought of the repercussions that Jack could face, the Doctor shuts his eyes tight and before dragging his hands over his face and pacing the room. He takes a deep breath and points directly at Jack. "Okay. Okay. You are not to mention a word of this to anyone. Bombing a car is a felony, Jack! You could end up in prison for a **very,very** long time!"

Jack pales at the thought and whispers, "What am I going to do?"

The Doctor continues to pace the room like a caged animal while he rubs his neck. "I don't know. Give me a minute. Let me think."

Jack watches him dart around the room for a minute until the Doctor suddenly whirls around and points at him again. He cries, "I've got it! Here's what we're going to do! First you're going to give me anything and everything that you have left involved with the paraffin and _motoroil_ so that I can dispose of it! That includes any receipts so that I can wipe out any sort of paper trails that the stores would carry! Jack, are there any surveillance cameras in the parking lot?"

Jack nods and affirms, "Yes, but there's only one. It's directly over Donna's parking space."

The Doctor stares mutely at Jack and simply shakes his head. "I'll take care of it," he mutters. His voice grows stronger as he advises, "Now, secondly, do not mention this to Donna! Not only will she outright kill you for touching her car, but you will lose any chance of ever winning her affection! So remember this, Jack Harkness! Not one single word, not one accidentally uttered phrase or panicked confession to anyone at Torchwood, especially Donna!"

Jack bobs his head up and down repeatedly; too fear- stricken at the prospect of losing any chance with Donna that he has yet to take.

The Doctor takes a deep breath to compose himself and then calmly states, "Of course, I'll have to tell Rose because people who are in love should never keep secrets from each other."

"What?" yelps Jack.

The Doctor's attitude becomes stern as his voice turns grave as he instructs, "My last bit of advice is the most important and crucial of all. It is the one thing that will irrevocably save your neck when all else has failed."

Jack leans forward desperately and pleads, "What is it, Doc? Tell me!"

The Doctor commands, "Never, ever, go near my car. Not out of curiosity, not out of concern and not for any reason, that might require you to have physical contact with my baby. You may be the best fish and chips man in all of Cardiff, but it is apparently obvious to me that you have all of the mechanical skill of **Tommy Boy!** "

Jack's eyes widen and moisten at this comparison and he gives a quick sniff before turning away from the Doctor.

The Doctor jerks his head back in surprise and sputters, "Are…are you crying?"

"No,' replies Jack with another loud sniff. "I have something in my eye."

Exasperated, the Doctor admonishes, "Jack!"

Suddenly, Jack spins around and retorts, "Hey! I'm sorry! I'm sure that the Jack Harkness that _you knew_ was a lot tougher than that. Unfortunately, I may resemble him, sound like him and sometimes act like him, but ultimately, I'm just me."

It hits the Doctor all at once. Jack is jealous of himself. Well, he knows how that feels. He may not need to make this man better, but he can at least make him feel better. The Doctor cautiously approaches Jack and gingerly sits next to him on his desk.

He begins his apology, "Jack, I'm sorry. I never should have compared the two of you. **Ever.** " He sighs and chuckles bitterly, "If that isn't the metacrisis calling the parallel black, huh?"

He glances at Jack and berates himself. "I told you how Rose and this me met. I'm the last person who would want to put anyone in somebody else's shadow." He clasps Jack's shoulder tightly and declares, "If it's any consolation, the Jack that I knew was a good friend, but I was never as close to him as I have become with you."

Jack looks over at the Doctor, his voice carrying a hint of suspicion. "Really?"

The Doctor smiles warmly and answers sincerely. "Really, really. It took a long while for Jack and I to build a friendship and as much as I would trust him with my life, there were still moments that I couldn't allow myself to trust him completely. You and I have had an instant connection from the day we met."

Jack eyes him shrewdly and guesses, "Because I helped you out with your paperwork and gave you my banana cream pie?"

The Doctor vehemently denies, "No! Absolutely not! That was just a bonus! Plus, you know to keep your hands off of my blonde!"

Jack laughs and the Doctor squeezes his shoulder and insists, "Seriously, Jack, apart from Rose, I consider you my best friend. I feel that I can be completely open and honest with you."

Jack beams at this declaration until the Doctor reiterates, "So again, stay away from my car."

Jack knocks the Doctor's hand off of his shoulder and rolls his eyes in amusement. "Fine, I won't touch your precious car!" His desk phone rings and he reaches back to answer it. "Jack Harkness. How may I help you?"

A beat passes and Jack's face lights up in delight. "Mr. Mott! How are you? What can I do for you, Sir? Yes. Okay. Okay. Understood completely, Sir. I'll take care of it. Yes, right away. Thank you for calling. Goodbye." He hangs up the phone and whirls on the Doctor in a horrific panic shouting, "Oh, my God! Oh, my God!"

The Doctor's eyes grow huge as he surmises, "I take it something's wrong. What? What is it?"

Jack bleats, "Donna's grandfather bought some perfume off of one of his mates and gave it to her this morning! There's just been a news broadcast announcing that there's a massive recall due to severe itching and burning several hours after application!"

The Doctor instantly realizes the concern causing Jack's mental state and urges, "Okay, but you need to calm down. We'll call Medical and tell them to keep Donna down there. I'm sure that they can counteract any adverse reactions."

Jack cries, "I know that, Doc! That's not what I'm worried about! He didn't just give her the perfume, he pretended that it was delivered to their house with a card attached saying it was from me!"

The Doctor groans and runs his hands through his hair. "Jack, call Medical and let them know what symptoms to expect. I'll go and start rewriting your recent history and we'll eliminate any remaining traces after work."

Jack's relief is palpable and he gratefully calls out to the Doctor as he reaches the door, "Thanks, Doc."

The Doctor smiles broadly and responds, "Anything for a friend." The Doctor quickly makes his way to the elevator to head over to security and realizes, _Apparently some things really do need saying. Because if actions truly speak louder than words, then Jack's recent shows of affection are screaming 'I hate you Donna'._

**Next Chapter: Wine and Dine Her**


	6. Wine and Dine Her

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Donna and Jack are hired to work at Torchwood. Jack fell in love with Donna at first sight and asks the Doctor for help to win her affections. Will he win the girl or will their bungled attempts blow up in his face? **Sixth of the Forever After Series**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author'sNote: My husband tells me that a Robin Reliant, a.k.a. a Whistle, is a car that's even smaller than a Mini. Remember the D & D Bistro t-shirts from Chapter 4? Now you'll find out where they came from.
> 
> Also, I don't know if any of you have watched the Carry On films, but I picture Kenneth Williams as the maitre'd.
> 
> Tommy Cooper was a British magician and Dame Edna refers to a male Australian entertainer who portrays the feminine persona of Dame Edna.
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own anything in relation to Dr. Who.

******Saturday******

"Problem, Doctor?" inquires Rose with a smirk while the Doctor is currently doing his best to extricate himself from the backseat of Jack's Morris Mini.

Donna and Jack are currently chatting at the curb as they had already exited the car with relative grace, much to the Doctor's chagrin. Rose, of course, had her under sevens gymnastic abilities to rely on and had no problem exiting the backseat, leaving the Doctor to hop backwards on one foot while attempting to pull his left leg free from the car.

Finally managing to free himself, he gripes, "This is ridiculous, Rose! Hasn't the man ever heard of anything bigger on the inside?" Rose pokes her tongue out between her teeth and replies, "For Donna's sake, let's hope so."

The Doctor releases a loud laugh and bumps her shoulder with his own as they make their way over to Jack and Donna. At their approach, Donna announces, "Oi! You two! Have you heard the news? Jack's thinking of buying a new car!"

The Doctor's face lights up immediately and he responds, "Really? That's great, Jack!"

"Yeah," explains Jack, "I was thinking that it might be time. After all, a new job, a new flat, why not a new car?"

The Doctor's practically bouncing up and down as he tells him, "Brilliant! I know some excellent junk yards that carry classic cars in their inventory. We could restore our cars together!"

Rose shifts uncomfortably and Donna expresses a look of distaste at the thought of another one of the Doctor's fixer uppers. Jack tests the waters of the Doctor's manic moods and voices another option. " _Or,_ I could simply trade it in for a newer model."

The Doctor's enthusiasm fades before their eyes and he mutters, "Oh." He frowns as he questions Jack with a look of uncertainty, "It won't be another Mini, will it?"

Jack replies, "No, I was thinking of something a little more compact."

Donna is the first one to react. "More compact? Like what, a Whistle?"

Jack's expression and response is all the answer that they need. "What's wrong with a Whistle?"

Donna retorts, "It blows!"

The Doctor throws in his two cents and complains, "Jack, I feel like I'm riding in a go-cart now! You have to buy a bigger car!"

Jack's temper begins to flare at their criticism and he mocks, "You're just jealous because when people see my car, they're not inspired to get a tetanus shot!"

The Doctor catches a glimpse of Rose out of the corner of his eye steadily avoiding his gaze at that familiar reference and quickly counters, "No! They're more likely to be inspired to join a clown college!"

Jack gasps in shock and inches closer to the Doctor. Rose intervenes and shouts, "All right, that's enough! Everybody calm down!" She pushes the men apart and pointing at the Doctor, warns, "You shut up about your car! No pun intended, but you have no room to talk!"

Then she spins on her heels to face Donna and snaps, "And you can belt up and all! Jack has done nothing but help us out, both at our work and at home and now he's treating us to this lovely dinner!"

Jack quietly utters, "I thought we were going dutch."

Rose spares Jack and a quick glance and beseeches, "Please, let's all just relax and enjoy a night out together, _as friends._ "

Everyone nods their heads in agreement and mutters of apology are heard all around. Rose asks, "Jack, out of curiosity, what is with you and small places?"

Jack answers, "I just like tight places, the tighter the better. It makes me feel more secure, like someone has a good firm grip on me."

Donna moves closer to him and right up into his personal space. "You better be talking about the car, mate."

Jack looks momentarily bewildered until something clicks and he squeaks out, "Okay! Everyone inside, please! Let's all go in and enjoy this lovely meal that I'm apparently paying for!"

The others follow him with matching smiles as they approach the front doors of the restaurant. The D & D Bistro is the height of elegance. There are soft twinkling lights woven throughout the trees and bushes and the wooden and marble exterior gleams in the moonlight, casting an iridescent glow around the building.

The Doctor leans down to whisper in Rose's ear, "Something's not right here."

She whispers back in exasperation and asks, "What's wrong now?"

The Doctor jerks his head at the restaurant sign over the door. "Look at the sign, Rose. It says the D & D Bistro. Like those t-shirts that Jack and I were wearing when we went down to the police station? Why would such a swanky place sell common t-shirts?"

Rose stares at the sign quizzically and realizes that he's right. This place does seem a bit too posh to advertise on t-shirts. Flashing a quick peek at the Doctor, she knows that they are on the same page. They will both be on full alert as they make their way inside.

The key card that Jack swipes across the electrical eye at the restaurant's entrance tells them that this restaurant is not only high-class, it's also very exclusive.

The foursome enters the restaurant and walk down a long, dim hallway. The Doctor mentally notes, _I've seen better lighting in a dungeon. Hmmm. Actually, the stonework used for the walls kind of reminds me of a dungeon._

He overhears Donna whisper to Rose, "Does this place remind you of a dungeon?"

The Doctor shoots a suspicious glance at the back of Jack's head and wonders, _This place isn't a …Nah. No,nope,couldn't be. This is a completely different Jack Harkness. I'm sure it's only the restaurant's atmosphere, trying to appear medieval and all that._

They finally come upon a rather distinguished looking gentleman standing behind a podium that the others assume is the maitre'd.

When Jack approaches, the man's face breaks out into a huge smile as he greets, "Mr. Harkness! How good to see you again! I do hope that we'll see you more often than the occasional trip now that you've moved down here from Cardiff."

"Absolutely!" exclaims Jack. "Expect me to be quite the regular." He winks slyly at the maitre'd and quips, " _without reservation_."

The maitre'd places his hand on his chest and laughs heartily, "Oh, Mr. Harkness! You're quite the comedian!" He then leans in close to Jack and intones, "And just so you know Mr. Harkness, you will **never** need a reservation."

The other three stand in the background and watch the scene in front of them with a mixture of amusement and disbelief. The maitre'd suddenly steps away from behind the podium and ushers them towards a large oak door.

"Well come along then, everyone!" he croons. "Fun and games await you!"

Jack says, "Thank you. Castor. We'll see you later."

The maitre'd calls out, "Looking forward to it, Sir!"

Rose gives the Doctor a slightly nervous glance and repeats, "Fun and games?"

They pass through the door to enter a large lobby with a concierge style desk and an elegantly dressed woman in a scarlet dress. Over her head is a large wooden sign that designates it as THE CLOAK ROOM. She greets them all with a smile and states, "Mr. Harkness! Welcome back! We've missed you!"

Jack flashes a broad grin as he replies, "Thanks, Madge, and nice dress! Leather suits you." He leans one arm on the desk and inquires, "So, how's tricks?"

Madge doesn't answer except with a giggle and Jack waves his hand to indicate the unusually quiet group still processing the woman's attire for such an elegant establishment.

"Allow me to introduce my friends. This is Donna, Rose and the Doctor. It's their first time here!" proclaims Jack.

Madge's countenance seems to glow as she enthuses, "Welcome to the D & D Bistro fellow travelers! And most importantly, welcome to The Cloak Room! Now, how may I assist you?"

The three newcomers glance at each other curiously and then back at Madge. The Doctor clears his throat and declares, "Well, it was rather warm tonight so we don't have any coats with us to check in."

This statement prompts Madge to throw her head back and laugh. "You don't come to The Cloak Room to check in your wardrobe, you come to check it out!"

She lifts up part of the desk and motions them to enter the doorway behind the desk. "Now, let's get you kitted out properly! Do you have any preferences? We carry cloaks in suede, leather, silk and even canvas for our more fearsome and dominating characters."

The trio's eyes widen enormously at the phrase 'fearsome and dominating' and listen with a great deal of trepidation as she continues on with her tour.

Madge pulls back a curtain as she presents, "We also have an excellent selection of staffs, bolos, whips and archery sets."

Rose blurts out, "Archery sets?"

Donna hisses, "Bloody hell! Did you hear the description for that lot? This is a bloody S & M club!" She looks over at the Doctor and demands to know, "And what kind of S & M club uses archery sets, anyway?"

The Doctor gives an indignant sputter at such a question being asked of _him_ , of all people. "I wouldn't know!"

Rose crosses her arms and gives him a rather incredulous look so he reiterates, "I wouldn't!"

He scans the room for Jack and spits, "Where did Jack go?"

Donna, feeling uneasy, edges closer to Rose and surmises, "He's probably off fetching the manacles and lubricant."

The Doctor mumbles too low for Donna to hear, but not Rose, "Oh, I see we can guess your preferences then?"

Rose elbows him in the ribs before the Doctor continues scouting out the rest of the room for Jack. He looks out the large frosted windows separating The Cloak Room from the dining area where he spies various costumes and scenes of role-play.

His lips quirk upwards as he spins around and informs them, "Ladies, this is not an S & M club. If I'm mistaken, and I rarely am, the D & D stands for Dungeons & Dragons." He unexpectedly lets out a low chuckle and verifies, "Am I right, Jack?"

The women turn around and are stunned to see Jack dressed in green robes with a matching pointed Wizard's hat. Jack answers back excitedly, "That's right, Doc! It's my favorite game so of course, this is my favorite restaurant!" His long bell sleeves slide down past his elbows as he raises both arms and yells, "Surprise!"

Rose and Donna are still speechless and the Doctor comments, "Nice robes, Jack. You look a bit like Gandalf."

Jack shoots an embarrassed smile to Madge as he observes, "Doc, that's Lord of the Rings."

The Doctor's only response is to shake his head and rub his hands over his face. He then places his hands on Donna and Rose's backs to propel them towards Madge and politely inquires, "So, Madge, do you have anything in pinstripes?"

******Ten Minutes later******

The quartet are making their way through the dining area with Jack leading the way to his favorite table while the Doctor complains, "I don't know why I'm not allowed to wear wizard robes."

Somebody bumps into Donna and she shouts, "Oi! Watch it, Sunshine!" The unintentional offender expresses a quick look of fright before scurrying on his way.

Rose advises, "Maybe if you lowered your hood, then you could see where you're going."

Donna replies, "Not a chance, Rose," and tugs her hood even closer around her. "I may not be a high profile celebrity like some," pausing to give Rose a pointed stare, "but I refuse to have my picture end up in the tabloids while I'm out trick or treating in fancy dress!"

Rose asks exasperatedly, "Do you really think that there's the remotest possibility of that happening here of all places?"

As if to spite her, a voice instantly calls out, "Hey! Isn't that the Vitex heiress?"

Donna smirks as Rose pulls up her own hood and hisses, "Shut it, Donna, or I'll tell them we're dating!" Donna's smirk instantly morphs into a frown and she continuously grumbles until they reach their table.

They all sit down at a table in the forest section near a large hedge and the Doctor laughingly remarks, "I think that it's safe to remove your hoods now ladies."

Both women shoot him nasty looks and Jack beams at all of them and before turning to Donna. "So, what do you think, Donna?"

Rose darts a warning look her way while the Doctor merely offers a silent plea with his eyes. Sighing, she takes a deep breath and closes her eyes to block out their faces. When she opens her eyes, she sees Jack's hopeful entreaty for acceptance.

Choosing her words carefully, she states, "It's lovely, Jack. There aren't words. Really."

The tension promptly dissipates and Jack gazes at Donna like a lovesick puppy. "You look beautiful, Donna." She starts to smile before he continues, "You know, for a human."

All eyes aim straight for Jack as Donna growls, "Excuse me?"

Jack is utterly unfazed at her change in tone and responds, "Well, first timers at the bistro are always cast as humans or sprites. You aren't allowed to have one of the more powerful roles until much later."

"For instance," he proclaims proudly, "I'm an immortal." Rose and the Doctor blink once in tangent at this announcement, unsure if they should be amused or just freaked out at these continuing parallels that keep crossing into their lives.

A quick glance at each other revealing each other's bemusement has them deciding to return their attention back to the conversation as Jack further explains, "Once you've amassed enough points at the games tables, you can be a troll, giant, wizard or in Donna's case," he smiles shyly, "a goddess."

Donna smiles widely and laughs softly as the Doctor questions haughtily, "Oh, really? I wonder how they'd handle an Oncoming Storm."

Rose rolls her eyes at his puffing and Jack answers in all seriousness, "I'd use an invisible shielding spell myself. That way, not only would I be protected but it would make me harder to track at the same time."

The Doctor is about to reply when a woman dressed as a fairy walks up to them and introduces herself. "Good evening, I'm Polly Hedral and I'll be your waitress tonight. Please take your time to peruse the menu and just give a wave when you're ready to order."

The Doctor surveys the large crowd and queries doubtfully, "Are you sure that you're going to be able to see us wave in this crowd?"

Polly and Jack share a secret smile until he rolls up his sleeve to move his hand over the crystal ball on the center of their table. It immediately lights up and Polly holds out the wand that she is carrying to show them a large crystal D & D shaped dice on the end of it etched with numerals.

The part of the dice displaying the number 4 begins to glow to correspond with the number of their table. With a broad grin and an enthusiastic nod of his head, Jack declares, "That's how she knows when we need her at our table! Cool, huh?"

The Doctor's eyes shine like a little boy's on Christmas morning and he exclaims, "Oooohhh, I want a go!"

Rose blocks his hand with hers and reproves, "Forget it, Doctor. We only use it when we need her. Otherwise, she'll be coming over all night." She sends an apologetic look to the waitress who returns a very grateful smile.

"Fine," whines the Doctor, "but I get to do it when we order."

"Thanks, Polly," says Jack. "We'll let you know when we need you." The Doctor clears his throat and Jack lets out a small huff of irritation and recants, "I mean, the Doctor will let you know when we need you."

The Doctor smiles serenely until Jack asks Polly, without taking his eyes off of the Doctor, "Oh, and Polly, is there any chance that they finished creating that children's menu?" All the women laugh and Jack tells Polly, "Great stage name, by the way!" as she leaves the table.

Donna shrieks, "Stage name? We're not expected to go up on stage in these outfits, are we?"

Jack chuckles, "No, I was talking about Polly's stage name. You see, Polly isn't her real name. Just like the customers are assigned roles to play, members of the staff are designated stage names. Polyhedral is the shape of the 7 – 8 sided dice that are used in the game."

Watching the growing interest on their faces, Jack continues, "Remember Madge in The Cloak Room? Her stage name is Madge Ishan."

Rose loves wordplay and enters into the spirit of the names and joins in, "And let me guess, our maitre'd is Castor Spell?"

Jack chirps, "That's it exactly! Now you're getting it! Isn't this fun?"

Donna and the Doctor share a mutual glance of amusement at their dining partners as a man passes by and calls out, "Good evening, Mr. Harkness! Good to see you again, Sir!"

Jack returns, "Good to be seen, Dru!"

Confused, the Doctor mentions, "Jack, Dru doesn't sound like a very magical name."

Jack is about to respond when Donna interrupts, "Wait a minute, let me take this one. Is it Druid Barrymore?"

Whoops of laughter meets Donna's joke until Jack's voice breaks through and staring at her in absolute awe he affirms, "Yes, it is! How did you know? Donna Noble, you are just full of surprises!"

 _Yes,_ Donna sighs to herself as she glances at Jack, _and you're full of something too. I just haven't quite figured out exactly what yet._

The Doctor examines the rest of the dining hall and inquires, "So Jack, how did you discover this place?"

Jack answers, "Rose's dad told me about it when he hired me and later on, he recruited me for their tournaments."

Rose's surprise is shared by the others. "Dad told you about it? I didn't even know that he liked D & D! What tournaments are you talking about?"

Jack clarifies, "The D & D has game tournaments that raise money for cancer patients. The money that they bring in helps patients and their families with expenses and for treatments that their medical insurance doesn't cover. Your dad learned about it when Jake approached him to sell him some tickets. Your dad not only sponsors the tournaments, he's one of their biggest contributors."

Jack picks up his menu and starts to browse through it as he continues, "When he found out that I used to volunteer at a soup kitchen and about my love for D & D, he suggested that I play in the tournaments. They're really successful and they've helped a lot of people. I still want to volunteer in a soup kitchen though. I miss the one on one contact when I'm helping others."

Rose and the Doctor smile warmly at Jack's thoughtfulness while Donna gazes at him with a newfound respect. Jack takes a peek over at Donna and asks, "So Donna, do you see you anything you like?"

"Yeah," she replies softly, "I think that I do."

Jack practically glows in response and the Doctor notices Donna watching Jack as if she's seeing him for the first time. Feeling encouraged by this, he leans over the table and proposes, "You know, if you two decide that you want to be alone, just say Expelliarmus and Rose and I will be on our way!"

Jack shakes his head sadly and gently corrects, "Doc, that's Harry Potter." Jack returns to checking out his menu and announces, "Hmmm. This week's menu will be a tough decision, it all sounds so good."

Donna questions, "This week's menu?"

Jack answers, "Yeah, they change it weekly. See?" He points to the top of the menu where is states REVISED EDITION.

A slight shake of her head goes unnoticed by Jack and the Doctor suggests that they order their drinks first. Everyone's perusal at the menu turns into a double take for all but Jack as they read the drinks selection.

**KNIGHT CAPS**

**Dungeon & Tonic **

**Monkarita**

**Hex on the Beach**

**Myth Julep**

**Rob Rogue**

**Wizard Cooler**

**Clericmopolitan**

**Whiskey Sorcerer**

**Bardtini**

**Dwarfgasm**

**Non Alcoholic Beverages**

**Water from our Fountain of Youth**

**Fairy Sprite**

**Cloak-a-Cola**

The Doctor mutters an aside to Rose, "It looks like pun all around tonight." She bumps his shoulder in response as he mentally sends out, _Well,what do you think, Rose? Fancy a Dwarfgasm?_

 _Why?_ she returns to him as she goes back to the menu. _Do you want me to polish your wand?_

Their silent banter is interrupted when a banging sound is heard beneath their table. They all duck their heads under the table to see what's causing the commotion and are each equally shocked to see Jack's hand inside his robe pocket jerking up and down.

They all bolt upright and their gazes fly to a flushed and sweating Jack who is too caught up in his movements to pay attention to their horrified stares. The Doctor gasps, "Jack! Stop that right this instant! There are people present!"

Jack grunts out, "I can't Doc, I'm almost there!" Donna's features change from horror to disgust and Rose and the Doctor can only watch in morbid fascination at this turn of events.

Jack finally breathes a sigh of relief and exclaims, "Got it!" He looks around at their bewildered faces and apologizes, "Sorry about that. My watch was stuck inside my robe pocket. That's so embarrassing."

Donna remarks sarcastically, "Yeah, _that's_ so embarrassing."

Not picking up on her sarcasm, Jack inquires, "Have you ever played D & D?"

Donna's eyes narrow as she drawls, "Noooo, is that required here?"

Jack replies, "No, but it's such a fascinating game. Let me tell you about the basics…"

Thirty minutes later, a lecture on the basics now includes one on the necessities and has Donna scanning the room for the nearest exit. Rose instantly recognizes this look and whispers to the Doctor, "Doctor, we're losing her."

He takes note of a glassy-eyed Donna and an oblivious Jack. He usually requests permission for this type of an intrusion, but this is an emergency. _Jack! Jack!_ he mentally calls out.

The man in question looks away from Donna and over to the Doctor and mouths, 'Doc, is that you?'

The Doctor nods curtly and sends back, _Yes, it's me. Just think back your reply and I'll pick it up._

Jack asks silently, _Well,what do you want? I'm in the middle of a conversation here._

 _Your conversation is about to end the evening with a sudden headache if you don't quit boring Donna! And Rose and me while we're at it! Now pay Donna some real attention and pour on the charm before she walks out of here!_ seethes the Doctor.

 _Fine!_ is Jack's terse reply. _Now get out of my head! I don't like you inside me!_

Their eyes both widen and meet in horror with simultaneous mental cries of _Arrgh!_ and _Oh,gross!_

Rose and Donna give each other curious looks when they see the men make faces of disgust and rapidly avert their eyes from each other. Rose breaks the tension by suggesting with a mischievous glint in her eyes, "Hey Jack. Why don't you tell us one of _those_ stories that you're always telling Wilf?"

Jack clarifies with a wry smile, "You mean one of the naked stories?"

Donna grins playfully at him and adds, "From what Gramps tells me, you don't have any other kind."

Jack relents but insists, "Okay, but let's order first. I'll tell you while we wait for the food. I don't want any of you choking with laughter."

Donna flashes him a devilish look and inquires saucily, "What makes you think that I'll let you stop at just one?"

Jack blushes and everyone unrolls their parchment to read through the menu. Announcing that their decisions have been made, Jack automatically raises his hand to wave it over the crystal ball when the Doctor slaps his hand away.

He glares at Jack as he asserts, "It's my turn!" The other three roll their eyes as the Doctor slowly rolls up his sleeves and waves his arms around in a dramatic and elaborate fashion, making several passes with his hand over the crystal ball but never quite close enough to activate it.

Suddenly, Donna exclaims, "Oi! What's that over there?" as she points to a corner of the room behind the Doctor and Rose.

The Doctor asks, "What? What is it?" They all turn around to investigate and Donna takes the opportunity to wave her hand over the crystal ball which lights up immediately. The Doctor turns back to her saying, "I didn't see anything…Oi! What do you think that you're doing?"

Donna retorts, "Sorry, Tommy Cooper, but some of us are hungry!"

The Doctor begins to sulk as he slumps in his chair with arms crossed and a pout until Rose pats his arms consolingly and placates, "Don't worry, you can order dessert."

He instantly perks up and enthuses, "Okay! Jack, you know this place best, what's their top notch dessert?"

Jack muses, "Anything really, it's all top of the line cuisine here. Well, except for the French tarts. If there's anything that I can't stand, it's French tarts."

Donna agrees vehemently, "Me either," with a glare at the Doctor that tells him that she's not strictly speaking about pastries.

Rose's sidelong glance, reminiscent of the one she gave him during their recent conversation regarding French tarts, speaks volumes and he releases a sigh of defeat and murmurs, "Thank you, Jack. That was most helpful."

Polly arrives at the table smiling brightly at the Doctor as she holds up her wand and chirps, "I received your request! Remember, you can mix and match anything that you like on the menu in regards to main and side dishes." She looks around the table and inquires, "So, what would you like to order?"

Jack offers politely, "Ladies first."

Donna questions cheekily, "Does that policy apply to everything?"

Jack smiles widely and attests, "It sure does! Opening doors, first chance at the popcorn bucket at the movie theater and first roll of the dice at the D & D games tables!"

Donna nods her head with a slight smile and then shoots an amused glance over to Rose before voicing, "Good to know." She unrolls her parchment and states, "I'll have the Spag-Yeti and Crystal Meatballs with the dinner role-playte and a Dungeon and Tonic."

Rose orders the Wand-ton soup and shieldfish with scallops and a Clericmopolitan, the Doctor selects the Shiska-Barbarian and seven-sided diced potatoes and while leering at Rose, he adds a Hex on the Beach.

Rose hisses, "I hate beaches too!"

This encourages him to promptly change his order to a Rob Rogue and Jack chooses the Chicken Castle-Role and Unicorn on the Cobb with a Fairy Sprite.

Donna asks, "Seriously? That's what you're drinking? You don't want anything stronger?" Thinking this is due to his being the designated driver, she proposes, "We can send for a cab to take us home if you want to let loose a little."

Jack mulls it over for a moment and then decides, "You're right! It's a special night! Polly, I'll have a Cloak-a-Cola!"

Polly nods and barely leaves the table before Rose eagerly leans forward and demands, "Okay, Jack, story time!"

Jack beholds their expectant faces and groans good-naturedly, "Okay, fine, I'll tell you a story. A few years ago, I used to volunteer as a lifeguard for the local boys youth center…"

******Fifteen minutes later*****

Jack is wrapping up his story, "So I'm running late and I know that the lifeguard on duty has to leave for work. When I arrive at the center, I don't even stop at the changing rooms as I'm wearing my bathing suit underneath my clothes and I figure that I'll just undress in the pool area."

"I finally reach the pool and I tell Brian to go ahead and leave and I start undressing myself. And of course, it's just my luck that when I tug my pants down, the zipper gets caught on my trunks and pools, no pun intended, at my feet along with my pants."

Everyone is having trouble controlling their laughter and the Doctor chuckles, "That must have been quite an education for those boys."

Jack replies, "I'll say. I was covering at the Jewish synagogue that day."

The laughter turns into guffaws and tears are sliding down a couple of faces as everyone tries to compose themselves. Donna questions, "Do you have any stories where you don't end up naked?"

Jack answers dryly, "Only the ones where I start out naked."

"Like after the robbery?" Donna inquires teasingly.

Jack avoids her gaze and blushes while answering, "That's one instance."

"Only one?" she persists.

Jack blushes harder and mumbles, "More like one of many."

Polly returns to the table and distributes the food before going on her way again as Jack calls out, "Thanks, Polly!"

Rose surveys the different areas of the restaurant and marvels, "Jack, I love how they carved the doorways to the other rooms to look like the entrances to caverns. I noticed that there's signs over each of the caverns, can you tell me about those?"

Jack obliges, "Sure, Rose. Each sign is named after an actual Dungeons & Dragons book. In the very back, to the left where we first came in is the Hall of the Fire Giant King which is the chef's kitchen, then the Help Your S-Elves Salad Bar, that's obviously not a book and pretty self-explanatory, and the Chamber of Mystore-y which is the bistro's gift shop."

Jack is interrupted by the Doctor's exclamation of, "Ooohhh! A gift shop, Rose! You know how I love a little shop!"

Donna gives him a weird look and Jack blithely continues, "Then there's the Dancing Queen of the Spiders, that book title was slightly altered to fit the mood of the dance floor, next to that is the Descent Into The Depths of the Earth, you want to remember that one because it's the toilets, to the right of that is Nobody Expects the Drow Inquistion! with a slight play on words for one of D&D's major characters as it's the room that holds pub quizzes and then finally, there's the Games Room."

The Doctor asks, "What's that room for?"

Jack stares at him as if it should be obvious and informs him, "It's the games room, so you can play D&D."

The Doctor's not quite sure, but he could swear that he had just heard Jack mutter the word 'doofus' under his breath. Rose and Donna on the other hand had heard it quite clearly.

Donna notes the different features of the dining hall as Jack gives them the tour and notices one area that he didn't name. She points this out to him and indicates an area so far behind them in the back of the restaurant that you can barely make it out as it is so poorly lit.

"Oh yeah, that," recalls Jack with a laughing expression. He looks back at Donna apologetically, "I always forget about that room, it's called The Forgotten Realm. It's where they sit the customers that don't tip."

Rose's gaze travels to the Doctor as she intones, "I guess we know where you'd be sitting."

The Doctor comments dryly, "Ha, ha, very funny." Then he notices Jack gazing over at the Games Room and nudges Rose and jerks his head towards Jack to see if she can figure out what's caught his attention.

With a nervous chuckle, he inquires, "Not planning on abandoning us for a game of D & D are you, Jack?" Jack still ignores him. "Jack," he calls out in a sing song voice with no response. "Jack!" growls the Doctor. "What are you looking at?"

Jack finally turns back around and states in a star struck voice, "It was the Dungeon Master, he just went behind the curtain into the Games Room." Jack goes back to staring at the curtain and wonders aloud, "I wonder if he's giving out autographs tonight."

The Doctor huffs in exasperation. Not wanting Jack to backpedal with what little progress he has made with Donna, he advises sternly, "Jack, ignore that man behind the curtain."

Jack stares at him in pure disbelief and wails, "Doc, that's the Wizard of Oz."

The Doctor drops his head onto his chest in a spectacular gesture of frustration and takes a deep calming breath. He immediately pops his head back up and with is usual manic smiles urges, "Well, what are we all waiting for? Let's dig in!"

Everyone breathes in the delicious aromas coming off of their dinner plates before partaking of their food. The conversation is subdued, but only due to the extreme enjoyment of their meal and the contentedness of good company.

They are discussing what to order for dessert when Donna's cell phone rings. She says, "Excuse me," and picks up the call, listening intently for a few moments before hanging up and informing Rose, "It was Pete. He needs us both down at Torchwood right away if they want to avoid an interplanetary disagreement over the rose bush incident the other day."

The Doctor begins to stand as well until Donna tells him, "Not you, you stay put. The ambassadors from Rosae Rubus only want to speak to the Director of Alien Artifacts and the agent that had first contact."

The Doctor protests, "But I was there when Rose was injured!"

"Yes," agrees Donna, "but you were second contact. Look, Pete said that the species from this planet are very tetchy so it's going to require a great amount of diplomacy." She stares directly at him and points out, "That's not exactly your strong point."

Donna looks at Jack and apologizes in all sincerity, "I'm sorry, but we really have to go. If it's any consolation, I've had a lovely time."

Meanwhile, the Doctor has pulled Rose aside and hisses, "You can't leave me here!"

Rose blinks at him in confusion and asks, "What are you on about, Doctor? You hang out with Jack all of the time, it's not like it's going to be any hardship."

"Oh, really?" questions the Doctor. "You don't think so? Not after **finally** having a decent time with Donna and she has to leave? You don't think that I'll have to listen to him moan and whinge all night about another botched debacle?"

Rose stares at him in disbelief and admonishes, "Doctor, he's your best friend! He's sweet, he's in love and he's in need of your guidance and understanding!" Seeing that this road was leading her nowhere, she slyly adds, "And he's paying, remember?"

The Doctor's sour mood brightens right away and he crows, "Oh, yeah! I forgot about that! I am still a bit peckish and thirsty."

Rose smiles coaxingly and purrs, "Of course you are; now you go over there and be a good friend!"

"Yeah," vows the Doctor as he's already eyeing up the menu parchment from a few feet away. "I think I will." He turns and gives Rose a swift kiss and warns, "Be careful. Don't let those rose bush beings push you around. You show them who the best Rose in the bunch is."

Her smile is genuine as she nods briefly and kisses him one more time before leaving with Donna.

The Doctor sits across from Jack and expresses his regret. "I'm sorry that the evening was cut so short, Jack. It was going so well too. Oh well, at least you're still paying."

He starts to go over the menu when Jack trails off nervously, "Um, yeah…about that…" The Doctor's eyes shoot up right away as he feels a storm fast approaching. "I was actually hoping that you had some money. It seems that I left my wallet at home."

"What?" yelps the Doctor. "I don't have any money! What are we going to do?" He levels a glare at Jack. "Who leaves their wallet at home when he's treating his friends to dinner?"

"I thought we were going dutch!" defends Jack. "Besides, I was so nervous about tonight that I left it on the hall table when I was ironing my pants."

"And you're just realizing this now?" demands the Doctor.

"No," Jack peeps. "It came to me earlier, when I found my robe pocket empty. I wasn't sure if I had it with me so I thought I'd check my pockets discreetly."

"That was discreet?" screeches the Doctor.

Jack becomes morose and drops his head into his hands. "What are we going to do, Doc?"

"I don't know, but give me a minute and I'll think of something. _As usual,_ " grumbles the Doctor.

"Hey!" shouts a slightly drunken voice from behind them. "What are you two doing here?"

They turn to see fellow Torchwood employee Jake Simmonds staggering over to their table. Jack relates, "We were having dinner with Donna and Rose but they were called away to Torchwood. How about you?"

Jake plops down next to Jack and takes a long swig from his drink before answering sadly, "I was here on a date. Everything was going great. We'd just seen the latest movie, had a great chat walking through the park and I even told my best jokes."

 _Uh oh,_ thinks the Doctor, _I can see where this is going._

Jake continues, "Robin was so impressed when I had to use an electronic key card to enter the club, said it was very James Bond."

The Doctor inquires, "So where is Robin?"

Jake huffs, " _Robin_ ditched me! Once we got to The Cloak Room, _Robin_ gave me a stare like I was the biggest weirdo that ever walked the earth! You know, like the one that Donna always gives the two of you."

Both the Doctor and Jack are insulted by the remark and glower at Jake who murmurs, "Robin," with a hopeless sigh and then declares, "I really think that it could have been true love."

Jack sympathizes, "Wow, that's rough. How long did you two know each other?"

Jake drones, "Three hours. We met in the movie theater."

The Doctor quizzes, "So one of your longer standing relationships then?"

Jake avows, "Yeah, it was love at first sight. I'll never forget him."

Jack reels back in shock and repeats, "Him? I thought Robin was a girl!" He gazes at both men and confesses, "I'm confused."

Jake merely offers a low chuckle before taking another drink, leaving the Doctor to respond, "Let me put it this way, Jack. The only woman that Jake would fancy is Dame Edna."

Jake gives a snort of amusement while Jack's face expresses utter bewilderment. The Doctor tries to hold his frustration at bay and elaborates, "Because he dresses like a woman for his act!"

Jack takes a moment to absorb this information until he arrives at the obvious conclusion. "Oh! Duh! I get it now! Robin's an entertainer!"

He beams proudly as he looks at the two men who simply stare back at him in amazement and after darting a quick glance at each other, agree simultaneously, "Yes, Jack."

"Well, anyway, I've been at the bar ever since," admits Jake. He starts to rise from the table proclaiming, "I'll let you two enjoy the rest of your meal in peace. I don't want my bad mood to ruin the rest of your night."

The Doctor reaches across the table and pushes Jake back down in his chair while Jack reassures him, "Don't be ridiculous, Jake. Of course you'll stay with us." In a quieter tone he pleads, "Just don't order anything else."

Jake sends a grateful gaze to both of them and utters, "Thanks guys, I really appreciate it." He sees all of the food and drinks on the table and notes, "Wow, that's some spread you've got there."

"Yep," agrees the Doctor, popping the p. "Jack was _treating us._ "

"Really?" asks Jake in astonishment. "Usually he prefers to go dutch."

Jack grimaces and grits, "Well, it was _supposed_ to be a special night."

"Yeah," commiserates Jake, "I hate those."

The Doctor suddenly bears a smile so cunning that it would make a fox cower. "Yes, you two have had a bad night. Why don't we order some more drinks and share our pain. If I seem to recall, cognac works wonders at letting go of all of your troubles."

******An hour later******

The Doctor queries, "So Jake, how's that cognac working for you?"

Jake swirls the liquor around his fifth decanter and declares, "Like a charm, Doctor! I am feeling no pain! You know, I really love you guys. Donna still scares me though."

Jack giggles, "Me too."

Jake muses, "And Rose, what a sweetheart. When she cares about someone, she doesn't hold back. She loves you full stop. We share everything."

The Doctor smiles kindly. Jake innocently inquires, "Do you know that she hates French tarts?" The Doctor's smile drops into a frown and Jake vows, "I won't be bringing those into the office again. You know, she told me about Bad Wolf."

The Doctor sits upright in surprise and sputters, "She did?"

Jake affirms, "Yes, she did," while nodding his head a few times. "Hey, are you still trying to get her to dress up like Little Red Riding Hood?"

The Doctor turns bright red and squeaks, "What?"

A glance at Jack's widening eyes has the Doctor joking, "That Rose Tyler, what a kidder!" At Jake's knowing smirk, the Doctor adds silently, _And what a big mouth._

Jack is agog as Jake continues, "And there was something about a poodle skirt and Charles Dickens…" His words trail off before his head drops to the table and he falls unconscious.

Jack stares at the Doctor in silent query and the Doctor responds curtly, "That's not a story that I want to tell."

Jack instantly replies, "Good, because that's not a story that I want to hear." Jack fusses, "Poor Jake, do you think that he'll be okay?"

The Doctor stands and goes around the table to lean Jake back in his chair while he assures, "Jake's a strong lad, I'm sure that he'll be just fine."

Jack queries, "Then why are you checking on his heart?"

The Doctor answers, "I'm not, I'm looking for his wallet."

Jack hisses, "Doc! You can't do that!"

The Doctor spares Jack a quick glance and demands, "Then what do you propose we do, Jack? We don't have any money of our own to pay the bill!"

Jack acknowledges, "I know, but it's still not right!"

The Doctor grimly states, "No, it's not right. That pocket's empty. It must be in the left one. No, that's empty too."

Growing desperation prompts Jack to suggest, "Did you check his outer pockets?"

The Doctor snaps his fingers and cries, "Good idea! Yes, here it is and it's full of cash! Molto bene!"

Jack whimpers, "I feel like we're stealing."

The Doctor reasons, "It's not stealing if you're consoling a friend." He pats a still unconscious Jake on the shoulder as he stands and condoles, "There, there. Besides, we'll pay him back tomorrow. Or at least, you will since you got us into this mess and I so cleverly got us out."

Jack mocks, "Yeah, you're a regular Houdini. You might be used to pulling stunts like this but I'm not. I feel like a conman. I could never get used to this…"

Jack spies Polly walking by and calls out, "Hey, Polly! Could you bring us some more drinks and some Element 'N' Chip ice cream? Thanks!" He faces the Doctor whose eyebrows are slightly raised in surprise while Jack insists, "You'll love it! They make it from scratch right here on the premises!"

The two men then pick up the glasses in front of them and the Doctor suggests, "Let's toast to tonight, shall we?"

Jack's tone is cynical as he says, "Okay. What part of tonight do you actually want to celebrate?"

The Doctor smiles fondly and proposes, "To the women we love, exquisite food, excellent libations and the good friends who pay for them." They both glance over at Jake who lets out a loud snore. The Doctor finishes the toast, "Whether they know it or not."

Jack nods his head sagely and they both toast, "Cheers!" as they clink their glasses.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Additional Disclaimer: I do not own anything in relation to Dungeons & Dragons. I couldn't list this earlier because I didn't want to ruin the surprise.


	7. Serenade Your Lady

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Donna and Jack are hired to work at Torchwood. Jack fell in love with Donna at first sight and asks the Doctor for help to win her affections. Will he win the girl or will their bungled attempts blow up in his face? **Sixth of the Forever After Series**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: Strong T warning for innuendo. Nothing explicit, but you know, it's Jack. ;)  
> Asda is a department store in England that would be similar to a Walmart in America. I don't know anything about pubs except from what I've seen on television and stories from my husband. He couldn't contribute much though as he doesn't seem to recall much after the drinking. Odd that. ;)  
> Lad's Night Out, is a companion piece to this story and is set the evening of Chapter 4.   
> Disclaimer: I do not own anything in relation to Dr. Who.

******Sunday******

"Welcome to the Ale Ye Inn," declares Donna excitedly to her friends.

The Doctor, Jack and Rose take in the sight of the three story brick building that appears to have been built in the Victorian era. The pub's sign displays a pale green alien with large encompassing coal black eyes holding a large tankard of ale. _Hmmm,_ ponders the Doctor, _I wonder if the owner has ever been to Owthtiwretteb._

"I like the sign," grins Jack. "With all of the alien interaction that Earth has had over the past few years, it makes sense."

Rose's brow crinkles with interest as she remarks, "Well, that's different. I can understand the pub having a twenty-four hour license but I haven't seen a twenty-four hour coffee shop before."

"Yeah," agrees Donna as she glances over at the Malt O' Benny Irish Coffee Shoppe. "That was actually Gramps' idea. His mate was going to close his shop due to poor business and then Gramps suggested that he match the pub's hours. Now he makes most of his money by sobering up the drunks before they go home."

Rose laughs and asks, "Is that how he found this place?"

"No, but that's a really interesting story," recalls Donna. "It was one of the first nights after Gramps had moved to London and he decided to check out the sights when he got a bit lost. He told me that he had wandered around for so long that he was dying of thirst and starved for a good meal. He pleaded for a sign to help him find his way home and when he looked up; he saw the sign for The Ale Ye Inn back when the sign was just a plain tankard of ale."

"So he went in and asked for directions?" poses the Doctor.

"No," smirks Donna. "He muttered his thanks and said that home could wait for a few hours. He's been a regular ever since."

Jack quizzes Donna for more information about the pub while the Doctor suggests, "Perhaps one day when we retire from Torchwood, we could open up a pub."

"What?" exclaims Rose. "You not run?"

"We could run a pub!" replies the Doctor. "We're both people persons and you could sing to the crowds whenever you like. You have such a lovely voice."

Rose smiles sweetly but eyes him with suspicion. "Are you sure that there isn't anything else that you're leaving out?"

His hands are shoved deep in his pockets as he rocks back onto his heels while glancing at her sideways. "Well, there is all that lovely marmalade that we'd have to store behind the bar for scones."

"Scones?" laughs Rose. "Doctor, you're thinking of a tea house, not a pub."

"Oh," deflates the Doctor before perking right up again. "We could open a tea house with lots of tannins! Tea's the best thing! It would be like performing a community service!" Momentarily calming down, he looks at Rose quizzically. "Can you sing in tea houses?"

Rose merely shakes her head in reply and Donna shouts, "Come on, you two! We're wasting valuable drinking time!"

They enter the heavy oak doors of The Ale Ye Inn where Donna is immediately greeted by the barman and several patrons.

The inside of the pub is a wide open space and is decorated in a blend of styles. The bar is long, finely polished, made of mahogany and sports a group of friendly faces tending to all the punters. Behind the bar, high above the stock of glasses and bottles is a shelf full of small statues, Toby jugs, pictures and pub related memorabilia from days long past.

The walls are covered with badges from various sports teams, antique dishes and wooden frames filled with maps, artwork and different little bits and bobs that have been accumulated throughout the years. The furniture is a wide assortment of maple and oak with the chairs being a mix to match the style of each particular section of the room.

The far right corner of the room has a large stone fireplace surrounded by tables, chairs and benches that seem to be more suited for a hunting lodge than a pub. Beside it, is the games area which contains several dart boards, a pinball machine and tables that appear to have been especially designed for playing cards and dominoes.

Alongside the 'hunting lodge' area and divided by a wooden partition with an etched glass window, is an elegant Victorian setting with furniture and décor reflecting a splendor from a forgotten era. Wild flowers are embroidered on the cushions of each chair which are greatly favored by the older and more distinguished patrons of the pub.

The slightly more boisterous customers are gathered around a hodge podge of bench tables, booths and round tables with chairs that have wooden slats for backs. Straight ahead, against the far wall, is a small stage for nights when they decide to have live entertainment.

The last section is to the far left of the bar and almost hidden behind a row of dark green archways with knick knacks lining the ledges above the alcoves. The soft laughter of both children and adults signifies that this is the dining area for families or those who would simply prefer a quieter meal.

Donna indicates that they'll be sitting in the 'hodge podge' section right next to the games area. As they weave in and out of the paths of the other customers, the Doctor notes that the pub is filled with manic energy and excitement, laughter, mementos and trinkets from all sorts of eras and is bigger on the inside. Never before has he felt more at home.

Rose chirps, "Donna, I love it! Thank you for bringing us here."

Donna smiles and says, "Yeah, it is a pretty great place to relax and unwind after work. You and I will have to come here for lunch in their garden area."

She grabs Rose's arm in excitement and gushes in girlish glee as she describes the outside dining area. "It's gorgeous, Rose! It has a marble floor and antique bird cages hanging from the ceiling full of ivy trailing down, mosaic tiles on the tables and chairs and large windows with pale green drapes and golden cords that tie back on each side!"

While Rose's excitement builds along with Donna's, the Doctor and Jack are silently mocking them by mimicking their more energetic feminine movements. Without even bothering to look in their direction, Rose and Donna simultaneously elbow the men in their ribs and ignore their yelps of pain as they continue their discussion.

"The best part is that when it's evening or the weather turns bad, they have sliding glass doors to enclose it completely so that you can dine out there any time."

Rose sighs, "It sounds heavenly, Donna. I can't wait to see it."

"Me too!" proclaims Jack. " It sounds like fun."

The Doctor pipes in, "I have Friday free for lunch. How does that work for everyone?"

Rose and Donna glance at each other in frustration and Donna inquires, "Which part of a girl's lunch for just me and Rose do you not understand?"

The Doctor smoothly replies, "The part where Jack and I aren't invited. Where would be the fun in that?"

Rose asks, "Has it occurred to you that Donna and I might want to talk about the two of you _in private?"_

Barking out a laugh, the Doctor asserts, "All the better! What better expert on me than me? I talk about myself all the time, don't I, Jack?"

Jack gives him a rueful smile as he affirms, "All the time, Doc. All the time."

Rose and Donna merely shake their heads while the Doctor happens to spy an open table. "Oi! That table looks good, let's sit there!"

Quickly making their way to the table and while the others seat themselves, Jack remains standing and offers, "I'll go buy the first round of drinks and grab us some grub."

Donna orders chicken in a basket and the Doctor orders lager for himself and fish and chips and a salad for him and Rose.

Before Jack can ask Rose what she wants to drink, the Doctor advises, "Jack, since you'll be bringing back such a large order, I would hold one drink in each hand and then try to extend your thumbs outward to press the other two glasses against each other so as to form one consistent unit. Now, you don't want to spill any on yourself so hold them slightly away from you but not so far as to collide with another person. I would suggest…"

"Doctor!" interrupts Rose to both Donna and Jack's great relief.

"Yes, Rose?" he inquires distractedly while positioning Jack's hands into the proper angle.

Rose suggests, "How about I just go with him and help him carry back the drinks?"

The Doctor's eyes light up at the simplicity of her plan and he marvels, "Why, yes! Brilliant! That would work quite well!"

Rose adds, "Besides, then I can see what they have to offer. I'm not sure what I want to order yet."

"Me either," states Jack. "Thanks for the help, Rose." Her returning smile quickly fades as she surveys the numerous customers clamoring for the barman's attention. They both grimace at the crowd of people and Jack asks, "Ready?"

Rose gives a curt nod before they head out and push through the crowd at a steady and determined pace. It is at times like these that Torchwood's above standard fitness requirements really pay off.

Still not quite comfortable at being left alone with this version of Donna, the Doctor attempts some light conversation as everyone that walks by them greets her by name. "Well, I must say that I'm definitely impressed. For someone who hasn't been in town long, you've certainly been around."

Donna arches her eyebrow at him and he swallows audibly. "I mean not around around but around here, in this pub. Not just hanging around a pub of course, but being social and making contacts."

He pulls at his collar and rubs the back of his neck as she continues to stare at him in silence. "Not that I'm saying your Torchwood contacts would be drunks or that there's anything wrong with drinking. I've been known to indulge myself every so often…"

Desperate for his latest rant to end, Donna simply orders, "Shut up."

The Doctor blinks once before clearing his throat and stating, "Yes, thank you, I think I will." He rises on tiptoe to scan through the crowd at the bar to see how Jack and Rose are faring but he's unable to make them out.

"I wonder where those two have gotten to?" he mutters to himself. "It's been 2.3 minutes and 7 seconds."

"Is that the Timey – Whiny thing that Rose says you can do? Sense time and all that?" asks Donna interestedly.

The Doctor replies coldly, "That's Timey – Whimey and that's only part of it." Donna shrugs dismissively and no more is said between the two. This incarnation of the Doctor never being one to handle silence very well soon broaches, "So do you come here a lot with Wilf?"

She replies, "A few nights a week. We usually meet his mate, David McDonald, here for a game of darts. He's brilliant."

Seeing the Doctor tense up at the mention of David's name and knowing how he feels about the young man, Donna decides to let a bit of her devilish side come out to play. She innocently inquires, "He works for you, doesn't he?"

"Yes," grits the Doctor. "He's supervising the construction on the hotel."

Donna nods and notes, "He's quite fit for such a young man. He's about Rose's age, isn't he?"

The Doctor smiles tightly and answers, "I never thought to ask."

Donna's extremely nonchalant as she remarks, "You know he drives a motorcycle. He calls it Rosebud." At the Doctor's startled glance, Donna continues, "He says that it's the sweetest ride he's ever had."

Watching the Doctor's expression change from one of surprise to one of panic, she pretends to wonder aloud, "Funny name for a motorcycle though, he must be a Citizen Kane fan." Noticing Jack and Rose's return, she exclaims in delight, "Oh, look! They're back with our nosh! Time to tuck in!"

Rose and Jack expertly evade every person in their path and are soon placing all of the food and drinks on the table. Once everything is laid out, Rose looks up to see the Doctor's gaze narrowed at her in suspicion.

Rose pulls Donna aside and whispers, "What's up with him?"

Donna shrugs and intones sympathetically, "You know how men are." She turns to smile sweetly at the Doctor while she thinks, _Strand my best friend on some broken down 51 st century space ship? Hmmph! Serves you right._

Uncomfortable with the intensity of the Doctor's gaze, Rose finally questions, "What? Why are you looking at me like that?"

Neither his voice nor his stare wavers as he replies coolly, "You just seem a bit preoccupied. I was wondering what you were thinking about."

"Oh," breathes Rose, relieved at such a simple request. "I was thinking about motorcycles and how I would love nothing more than to have a nice long satisfying ride."

Donna chokes on her drink and the Doctor gasps, "What? Why are you thinking about that?"

Rose smiles brightly and informs him," They were playing Elvis near the bar and it made me think of poodle skirts, pink pumps and motorcycle rides. Remember?"

Releasing a sigh, the Doctor instantly sport bears a huge grin and responds, "I do indeed. How could I ever forget?"

Rose blithely continues," Although I don't think we could have really accomplished that on your tiny little Lambretta." She laughs, "Could you imagine even trying? I had the worst trouble straddling it as it is. Every time you moved an inch I thought I was going to fall off of it." Rose's chuckles die down enough where she is finally able to sip her drink while the Doctor just stares morosely down into his lager.

Donna grins like a Cheshire cat and shares, "I love this place! I'm so glad we came here tonight!"

Jack points out, "There's that salad that you wanted, Doc. They gave me two bottles of dressing so you have your choice. Do you want Italian or French?"

Without even glancing at the women on either side of him the Doctor firmly declares, "Italian, definitely Italian." He takes note of Jack's food and asks, "What's that?"

Jack tells him, "It's called a Ploughman's lunch. It consists of a great wedge of cheddar cheese, some bread and some pickle and an onion. It's one of my favorites."

"Interesting," muses the Doctor. "So what exactly are you intending to plow?" He glances upwards expecting to find amusement at his little joke and instead finds everyone staring at him. Rose in shock, Donna in anger and Jack in horror. Realizing how his words were horribly misconstrued, he quickly amends in a very small voice, "That's not what I meant. I meant plowing something fertile and vast." The same stares persist but now only worse and with Rose shaking her head and miming zipping her lips. Almost inaudibly the Doctor peeps, "I meant a field."

In a huff of exasperation, Donna asks, "Are you done now or would you like to make some absurdly inappropriate comment about Farmer Jack and a roll in the hay?"

The Doctor vehemently defends, "I would never say that! I wouldn't even think of it!"

Jack looks at him in horrified accusation and squeaks, "You're thinking of it right now, aren't you?"

The Doctor glares at Donna and growls, "Yes! I am now!"

Donna nods in satisfaction and triumphs, "Good, then my work is done."

Avoiding Donna's gaze, the Doctor looks over at Rose's and Jack's drinks and queries, "So what did you two decide to order?"

Concerned, Rose whispers to him, "Are you sure this will be a safe topic for you?"

He pulls a face at her while Jack answers, "We just got some tea."

Surprised at Jack's answer, the Doctor verifies, "Tea? In a pub?"

"Yeah, it's from Long Island. It's the Barman's Special," affirms Jack.

The Doctor still looks unsure but abides by Jack's choice and murmurs, "Oh, okay."

Fanning himself, Jack states, "It's so warm in here, I might have to order a couple more of these," and then downs half of his drink. He starts coughing and sputters," What kind of tea is this? It tastes like alcohol!"

Rose gives him an odd stare and declares, "It is alcohol, Jack. It's a Long Island Ice Tea."

The Doctor chastises, "Rose! You know that Jack doesn't drink! How could you let him order that?"

Defensive, Rose argues, "He lived in New York for a few years, I thought he knew what it was!" She turns on him with the full force of her Tyler glare, "And what about you, Doctor? Why didn't you say anything?"

The Doctor becomes sheepish and grudgingly admits, "I assumed he knew what it was too. I thought he was just trying to loosen up a little." He suddenly looks at Donna in suspicion and questions, "You've been here before and you know what it was. Why didn't you say anything?"

Donna smirks in amusement and confesses, "I thought it would be funny." She smiles wide and proclaims, "And I was right."

Jack is unable to stop coughing and manages to gasp out, "I need something else to drink."

Donna pushes her drink towards Jack and offers," Here, try this."

Both Rose and the Doctor shout, "Jack, no!", but it's too late and Jack has consumed a good size portion of Donna's drink. Once it hits him he starts grabbing his chest and taking in deep gulps of air.

Rose and the Doctor glare at an unrepentant Donna and she asks, "What? He knows what stout is and I thought it would level him out."

Rose runs over to Jack in concern and rubs his back soothingly. "Jack, are you alright? Can I get you anything?"

The Doctor throws a nasty look Donna's way and grumbles, "How about a new liver?"

Donna spits, "Oi! Calm down, you two, he's fine!" She leans towards Jack and purrs, "You are fine, aren't you, Jack?"

Jack glances up at her mid-cough and starts giggling, then chuckling and then outright laughing before he spouts, "Yeah, actually, I'm feeling **REALLY** good!"

The Doctor tries to hush him and hisses, "Jack! You're being a little too loud. Try to keep it down."

Jack leans in close to Donna and gives her his best bedroom eyes as he croons, "That might just be a problem."

Donna's eyes widen her in appreciation at Jack's response while Rose turns a delicate pink and holds her hand over her mouth to smother her laughter. She darts a curious glance at the Doctor who's leaning back in his chair with his arms crossed just shaking his head, as he explains, "That's why he doesn't drink. He can't even take communion at his church."

Donna suddenly jerks upright in her chair and she looks over at Jack and demands, "Is that your hand?"

Jack smiles seductively and husks, "Yes, it is. Why? Would you prefer something else?"

Donna openly gapes at him while Rose's mischievous side comes out to play. "Jack, will you tell us a story where you end up naked?"

Without taking his eyes off of Donna, Jack answers throatily, "I'd rather make a new memory of one instead."

Eager to avoid the next potential courting disaster, the Doctor mentions with a tad more enthusiasm than necessary, "Oooh! Look everybody, a dartboard!" He runs over to the board and says I love a game of darts! Anyone fancy a game?"

Everyone agrees and Donna offers to go ask the barman for some darts. The Doctor insists, "No need to do that, Donna. I happen to have some with me."

Donna arches an eyebrow in suspicion and asks, "You just happen to carry a set of darts on you?"

While he rummages through his pockets, Rose grins, "Trust me, Donna, it's not a fix. His pockets are like a portable version of Asda."

The Doctor finally exclaims, "Aha! I found them!", and holds up a set of darts from the late 1800s. He advises Jack, "You might want to sit this one out."

Jack responds, "I don't see why," as he turns to leer at Donna. "I've never had a problem finding the center."

"Maybe the center of a Tootsie Pop," retorts the Doctor, "but I'm talking about darts. And in your current condition, I seriously doubt that you'll have much luck finding any center tonight."

Jack rises from the table and says, "Oh, I don't know about that." He smirks at Donna, "After all, there is a first time for _everything_." He grabs the darts out of the Doctor's hand and boasts, "Allow me to demonstrate," as he swaggers over to the dartboard. With a quick glance at the board before each throw, he confidently states, "One," and smiles at Rose, then "two" and winks at Donna, and finishes with "three" and smirks at the Doctor. He waves his hand to indicate his three consecutive bull's-eyes. The Doctor slumps down into his chair and sulks while Jack asks, "Who wants the next go?"

Rose walks over and gripes, "Me. I want to get this over with as quickly as possible. I was always rubbish at darts." Her first throw makes a perfect bull's-eye. The Doctor shoots up in his chair with wide eyes while Donna and Jack look on, both highly amused. Rose glimpses the Doctor pouting at her and she states, "I'm sure that my next one won't be as good." Her next throw hits the outer wire of the dartboard which earns her zero points.

The Doctor visibly relaxes and remarks, "Oh, that's a shame. No score there." Rose rolls her eyes at his competiveness and when she goes to toss the last dart, it slips from her grasp as she brings her hand back and it lands on a table full of GORGEOUS footballers.

Rose immediately runs over to their table and apologizes profusely. "Please excuse me! I am sorry! I am so, so sorry!"

The team's captain who also happens to be the most handsome footballer, insists, "No worries, love. How'd you like to join us? Drinks are on us and we'll even throw in some fish and chips. Isn't that right boys?" The group of young men all raise their glasses and offer hearty cheers of agreement and Rose has to admit that she is sorely tempted as she has not eaten since lunch and they had just sold their last portion of fish and chips at the bar before they arrived.

She sniffs the air appreciatively and hums, "Mmmmmm. Hot, steaming fish and chips?" She licks her lips and drawls, "Wellll…"

As if by magic, the Doctor appears instantly at her side and declares, "Sorry gentleman, but she's with me and I'm the only who's allowed to sate her appetite." He grabs Rose's arm in a tight clasp and growls, "Come on, you. No scoring for you tonight, at least with this lot." He takes her back to their table and informs Jack and Donna, "A table full of pretty boys. Typical. It happens every time that she wanders off."

Rose inquires with a tilt of her head," Can you let go of my arm now or is this how you pull someone?" as she tugs her arms out of his grasp.

Donna laughs out loud. "I especially liked the results of your last throw, Rose, but you really need to watch an expert. When the Doctor struts forward, Donna promptly pushes him away while snorting derisively, "Not you, Dimbo! I was talking about me!" She removes the darts from the board and stands six feet away. Smiling like the cat who's about to get the cream, she instructs, "Watch and learn." She counts off, "One, two, three," as she throws each dart in rapid succession and they all fall into place so closely together that they almost look like one giant dart.

The Doctor stalks over to the dartboard and roughly pulls the darts out all at once and seethes, "What's this dartboard made out of anyway, a magnet?" He goes and stands next to Donna and grunts, "It's my turn now." His first toss bounces off the side of the board so he squints while he shuffles a little closer for his second throw. The second dart hits a wood post next to the dartboard so he puts on his glasses and moves closer to the board.

Donna cheekily reminds him, "Oi! You're supposed to stand at least five feet away from the board!"

The Doctor grumbles as he leans forward to make his last throw which sails past the dartboard and lands with a corresponding 'Ouch!' from an elderly man at a nearby table. Completely unfazed at this turn of events, he muses aloud, "Funny that, I seem to remember being so much better at this. Oh, well. It must be the Donna in me mucking about."

Donna gives him a look of disgust and yells, "You idiot! You just stabbed one of Gramps' mates!" She closes her eyes and takes a deep calming breath. "Rose and I will go over and apologize and buy him a drink which means," she jabs her finger into his chest, "that the next round is on you!"

While Rose and Donna hurry over to the man, the Doctor turns to Jack and quizzes," Was I supposed to bring money?"

As Jack stares at him in disbelief, the Doctor pleads, "Jack, my best friend, can I borrow…"

Jack is shaking his head 'no' before he can even finish. "Forget it, Doc! I'm not that drunk! You still haven't even paid Jake back for our night at the D&D."

The Doctor pouts and defends, "That's only because he hasn't noticed the credit card charges yet." He displays his best puppy dog eyes and begs, "Please? Pretty, please with ball bearings on top?"

"Not a chance so you might as well quit asking me. And don't try nicking my wallet either. There are only two pairs of hands that are allowed near my pants tonight and neither of them belongs to you."

 _Thank Rassilon for small favors,_ thinks the Doctor. Wondering if Rose would spot him a few quid, he turns his head to seek her out when his attention is drawn to the barman setting up for karaoke. He grabs Jack's arm and crows, "Jack, look! They're setting up for karaoke! This is perfect! It's just what you need to win Donna's heart!"

Jack frets, "I don't know, Doc. I'm not much of a singer."

The Doctor instantly dismisses his negative response and coaxes, "Jack, this is the perfect moment. You're so sloshed now that you'll never be more relaxed. All you have to do is think about everything that Donna makes you feel and what she brings out in you and choose a song that reflects that. This is it, Jack! This is the moment that you've been working for, the final part of our plan! Now go up there and win your lady's heart!"

Jack whoops, "You're right, Doc! I can do this!"

He turns to leave but the Doctor tugs him back to his side. "One last thing," he mutters quietly. "If anyone throws any money at you, be sure to save it so I can buy the next round."

Jack rolls his eyes before grabbing his drink off of the table. He wants it handy just in case he needs a shot of courage. While asking the barman if he can be the first one up, Rose and Donna return to the table.

Rose scans the immediate area and asks, "Where did Jack go? He's not sick is he?"

The Doctor scoffs, "Not unless you count heartsick." He gestures to Jack climbing up on stage and picking up the microphone. He turns to Donna and tells her, "Prepare to be dazzled, Donna Noble. This one's for you."

Everyone in the pub takes a seat at their tables as the lights dim and Jack steps into the spotlight. He clears his throat and then starts singing in a smooth and sultry voice. The song that he's chosen to sing is 'I Touch Myself'. The Doctor grits out between clenched teeth, "That's not what I meant."

At this point, Jack has become so inebriated that he is having great difficulty recalling all of the words. Unwilling to disappoint Donna, he calls forth what he most wants to convey to her and improvises his own lyrics.

He looks imploringly at Donna and sings in earnest, "Um…don't worry about my performance," he holds up his drink, "I'm not used to anything stronger…It's only the booze, I swear it'll get longer…"

Caterwauling from the men and wolf whistles from the women encourages Jack to continue and become even more bold as he enthusiastically beckons the Doctor to join him on stage.

 _Not to that song_ , vows the Doctor silently. He turns his attention to his other two dining companions to find Rose desperately gripping the edge of the table in an effort to keep upright because she's laughing so hard while Donna's only reaction is a mere quirk of her lips in amusement.

He shifts his chair away from the stage and laments, "I can't watch this."

"Then close your eyes and shut your gob," commands Donna, "because this is just too good to miss."

The Doctor gawks at her and protests, "You can't possibly be enjoying this?"

Donna spares him a glance as she reasons, "Are you kidding me? This is the most normal that I've ever seen him."

The Doctor simply stares at her agog while Jack finishes what little he can remember of the song. His heartfelt rendition receives a standing ovation and once the applause dies down, he climbs down the stage and starts making his way back to the table.

Rose is wiping the tears from her eyes while giggling uncontrollably and the Doctor wants to cry for an entirely reason all together. Donna offers, "I'll take Cassanova home since he doesn't live that much farther than me and you two are across town."

Upon his return to the table, Jack immediately stumbles into a chair and crashes to the ground. Donna stands up and leans over him as she attempts to disentangle him from the chair.

"Alright there, Jack?" she queries gently. His groan of pain is her only response. "Don't worry about a thing. Now we just need to get this leg over…"

Jack interrupts in an incredibly loud voice, "Did you hear that everybody? I'm getting a leg over!"

She helps him into a kneeling position and tells him as kindly as she can, "I'm taking you home, Jack, but not to my home. Yours. Alone. I'm taking you as a friend."

"What?" gasps a heartbroken Jack. "Donna, no. I'm not usually like this, I swear. Please listen, please."

Feeling more than a little guilty for his current condition, Donna nods her head and waits for Jack's next words. They are nothing at all what she expected from him in his current state.

"Forget tonight, Donna. Look past everything that's happened and look at me. See the _real_ me. You've worked with me and you've laughed with me. You know me. I can't do a lot of things, but I could do anything with you at my side. I would do anything for you, Donna Noble." He takes her hand and pleads, "If you would only give me a chance. I know that I could not only be the man that you want, but the man that I want to become. I don't just want to share your bed, Donna, I want to share your life. Please, Donna, I just need you to give me a chance. Will you?"

Donna stands in silence, the tremor in her hands as she holds his is the only visible evidence of how shaken she truly is by his speech. She thinks of all the things that he's done for her and sometimes to her, but in her heart, she knows that it was always out of the goodness in his. She knows that everything has been straight from his caring heart, from his love for her.

She tries to lighten the mood before giving her answer and asks, "Jack, is this a proposal?" as she gestures to his kneeling position.

"No," he denies painfully. "I think I really hurt my leg. You'll have to help me up."

Smiling at his request, she pulls him to a standing position to stand directly in front of her and she answers, "Yes."

Not wanting to take the chance that he's misheard and is about to create yet another misunderstanding between them, Jack verifies, "Yes? You'll give me a chance? Really?"

"Really," whispers Donna as she leans closer to Jack and he moves in closer to her. Too bad it was because he was passing out. Donna easily catches him and moves him into a chair with the help of the Doctor and Rose.

Rose sympathizes, "Oh, Donna. I am so sorry."

The Doctor keeps calling Jack's name in a valiant effort to rouse him until Donna tells him, "Let him be, Spaceman. This way I won't have to worry about him getting sick in my new car when I take him home." She sighs, "Well, let's go put him in the car. I think this night is over."

The trio steadfastly work together to move Jack from the pub and into Donna's car as quickly as they can without waking him. As she drives off, the Doctor opines, "Well, that went better than I expected."

Rose laughs and bumps his shoulder while noting, "True, but after this week, you have to wonder what tomorrow will bring?"

He nods his head sagely and they are both lost deep in thought as they watch Donna drive off into the night. The Doctor turns to his love and waggles his eyebrows suggestively and coos, "So you want to go home and play darts?"

Rose's tongue pokes out between her teeth and she replies, "I don't think so, Doctor," as she back up a step or two, "not now that I've seen how bad your aim is." She takes off at a run with him right behind her, the two of them laughing all the way. She just manages to reach the car before he catches her around the waist and swings her up into his arms.

"Their night might be over, Rose Tyler," he breathes huskily. "But our night has just begun." Her wide smile is all the answer he needs before settling them both into the car and heading for home.

The Doctor and Rose found out what tomorrow would bring as they had an alien implosion of fish at Hyde park where the many remarks about something fishy is going on here and tipping the scales of justice were bandied about. They were both so busy trying to control all of the chaos that they were never once able to give Jack and Donna a thought, which it turns out was just as well.

Poor Jack. He never did make it in on Monday. Neither did Donna. She spent the rest of the day cleaning out her car from when Jack had unexpectedly and unwelcomingly woken up during the car ride home. Thankfully, Wilf had a mate who could help her out.

**THE END**


End file.
